Newbie Error - wrong category

LynneE · Newbie Joined: 18 Nov 2007 Posts: 7

Please forgive my error. I was just looking around to see if I had anything positive to share with other readers and I failed to click back to Emotional.

Though I have been there with him on the infidelity track while dating. Big time cheater! Not a very good liar though, despite a GREAT DEAL of practice. Makes believing in him very difficult... I think on a life-long basis. My suggestion to people who aren't married yet, if either party shows a propensity (sp?) for lying RUN< RUN very far away. Even if the truly hideous behavior stops the small lies won't and you'll never really know where you stand. Dishonesty is a very slippery slope for the liar AND the receiver.

Also, 8 weeks into my pregnancy after trying for several years, I found current pictures of his two high school sweethearts saved on my laptop. They were saved exaclty 8 weeks to the day that I told him we were expecting. Now, beyond that just being DUMB!!! what should I take it to mean? We both desperately wanted the baby (not the slightest bit of question there) and somehow he feels the need to google old girlfriends to see where they are at that moment, and SAVES the searches where I was very likely to find them. What is that?!?!? I called made him stay a week in a hotel and contacted a lawyer to told me to seek a divorce, that I had grounds. But what Christian (or non) seeks a divorce when two months pregnant over some non-pornographic photos? The action was immensely wrong and alludes to more serious concerns if you ask me, but not quite divorce-worthy.

What do you think? Scriptures appreciated as always. (I was raised Catholic and can recite the mass verbatim, not to mention the catechism and the names, actions, and some birthdates of the saints, but my bible verse is atrocious... answer: new church and bible study/ my goal in seeking a more local place of worship.) THX and G-bless

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 2170 Location: Chicago

It's not about God -
It's about a relationship through Jesus Christ.

This was the missing piece for me. I knew about God and I knew about His son, but I didn't intimately know Christ.

I asked Him (through prayer) to be the leader of my life, the forgiver of my sins and to help me to trust Him with all things.

Until I made this decision, my marriage and my life were a mess. Until I desired this relationship with all my heart, nothing was going to change.

I had to decide whether I was going to make Him - Lord of All, or keep Him Lord of a Little.

Until I was willing to change my relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ, my marriage was not going to be saved. Only through His Grace and His Love, did things turn around for us. We could no longer be self-serving and had to learn to be other-serving. That is how Christ lived His life.

I pray this is something you and you husband can both dedicate yourselves to.

What we realized is:

1) We needed a community of other like-minded people to do life with and who will pray for us during the hard times and good times.
2) We had to grow as individuals before we could grow together - this meant finding a daily time in God's word and in prayer
3) We worked through learning to pray together - not easy, but worth the effort
4) We became part of a church we both loved and we started serving God together. When we took the focus off of ourselves and the needs of others, it made all the difference in the world.

This took us from a broken marriage to a restored marriage.

Please consider picking up a book by Emerson Eggerichs called Love and Respect and another one by Wayne Cordeiro called The Divine Mentor.

In addition to reading some great books - marriage counseling is the next best decision a couple can make. It helps bring perspective to the changes you need to make as an individual and how do deal with the junk in your trunk. If you go into it expecting your spouse to change, marriage counseling will not work.

rdsmith3 · Veteran Joined: 04 Oct 2006 Posts: 391 Location: NJ

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