My husband has moved in with another woman

Elligirl · Full Member Joined: 28 Dec 2007 Posts: 83

Over the past year my husband started an affair with another woman. He has been running back to me then back to her. I feel the Lord has told me I need to hold on to him or he will be lost forever. He just had surgery to clear a blocked artery to his brain and when he had an MRI they found part of his brain had been destroyed(not a big part). Please pray that God will show him what is right or give me the strengh to let go. I need your prayers so much.

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 1846 Location: Chicago

Welcome to GT community. I'm so sorry to hear about your situation and I have lifted you and your marriage up in prayer.

I know you desperately want to hang on to him. But, that may not necessarily be the best thing to do. I'm not talking about divorce. Talk with God and tell him you are handing your husband over to HIM - for his work to be done in your husband. It's giving up your desire to control the situation and trusting God to do the work on your husband's heart.

I would highly encourage you to pick up two books -
Love Must Be Tough by Dr. James Dobson
Power of A Praying Wife by Stormie O'Martian

In the meantime, if he does come home, he cannot have his cake and eat it too. So, please do not be intimate with him out of a desire to be loved. If he is with this other woman, there is an opportunity for a sexual disease to be transmitted to you.

I pray you are able to meet with your pastor or a counselor to discuss these issues, to help you cope and to clear your thoughts, so you can process things and set necessary boundaries with your husband.

We choose our actions and God chooses our consequences.

Elligirl · Full Member Joined: 28 Dec 2007 Posts: 83

I had already gotten an STD before I found out about the affair. My husband tells me how much he loves me but that he loves her also and that he is going thru a great deal of confusion. I have tried to explain to him that confusion is of the Devil. I have also tried to explain to him about soul ties. He says he could not pray away those ties with either of us because it would be like killing one of us. He keeps asking for more time to find out if she really cares for him or is just using him. She is on welfare and as far as I know has never had a job. She is 49 years old and my husband is 57. He has already lost his job because of her and that is one thing he said to me last night. She has already cost me everything I just have to find out if she is for real. He moved out on me in September and ask me to divorce him on grounds of adultry which I did. He came back in November because he had lost his job and I believe he was afraid of losing me(I still feel married and he says he does). Everyone tells me to get over it and go on with my life, but I can not. I had been praying for several months that God would make him the man he needed to be and when I found out about the affair I felt God was telling me this was how he was answering that pray. My faith in God is all I have left and sometimes I feel it is to weak to see me through.

webacus · Posted: Fri Dec 28, 2007 10:26 am Post subject:

SAM gave good advice.

Currently, he has the best of both worlds: He has two women
in his life and he can come home anytime he wants.

You are divorced. You contracted STD's from him.
He is still seeing the other woman ...

Stop enabling him and change your locks.

-- Have you talked with a Christian Counselor?

Peace · Newbie Joined: 11 Dec 2007 Posts: 4

Elligirl I will keep you and your husband in my prayers asking God to touch your husband and open his eyes and heart and let him realize that his place is with you his wife honoring his vows he made before God to love, honor and cherish you till death. My husband left me also, he did not leave me for another woman, but instead for his 19 year old daughter, who he thinks he has to live with because he is responsible for her until she is 21. The irony is that he has left his 16 year old son who is not my child and is currently on probation with me and fails to realize that this is the child who needs him more since he is a minor, but he is obsessed with his daughter and she knows that and uses her father's love for her to get her own way.
Keep on believing that God changes people and he changes things and that there is no problem, situation or circumstance greater than god and every battle is in his hand to fight. Just put your marriage in his "TO DO" box and leave it there, he says he will do it in his time not ours and once our problem is placed in his box do not hold on to it.
The song writer says: They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall walk and not be weary, they shall run and not faint, teach me lord to wait.
Just keep on praying and believing in God and you will surely get your heart's desire.

Elligirl · Full Member Joined: 28 Dec 2007 Posts: 83

Thank you all for your prayers. Peace I pray that your husband realizes his mistake. Children are one of Gods gifts but should never be more important than a husband or wife. The exception is if the spouse is abusing the child. Our husband or wife is a part of ourselves. I would always know when this woman called my husband I could feel it when
it happened and me miles away from either of them. He started calling it my esp. God has made my bond to my husband even stronger since all this started. I know that it sounds strange but it's true. I feel God has a plan for our lives and will not let me give up on Calvin. Please continue to pray.

Peace · Newbie Joined: 11 Dec 2007 Posts: 4

Thanks Elligirl. I do not see your connection with your husband as being weird. I too have a six sense, I dreamabout things before they happen. My husband ex wife died early this year, and while she was alive her main intention was to use her daughter to cause problems for me and my husband and the daughter is just carry on what her mother taught her. A month before my husband left, I saw his ex wife in my sleep and she said to me that she and my husband already had a talk. That dream prepared me for what was to come.

After he moved out, he wanted me to go along with him coming to our home sleeping with me and then leaving our bed at 2 a.m in the morning to be at the apartment he shares with his daughter before she woke up. I told him that he wanted to treat me like his mistress and his daughter was his wife that he has to get home to her before she wakes up. I love myself too much to allow my husband to treat me that way. He sees nothing wrong with his idea and had a hard time accepting my refusal. There is a saying that it is not what people do to us, but it is what we allow them to do to us

I agree with Sam about your husband having his cake ane eating it at the same time, since that is how I view my husbands intention. He wants to have the best of both world, but I am not going to allow my love for my husband to turn me into a person I am not comfortable with.

I love my husband dearly and would love for him to come back home, but he made that decision to walk out the door and if and when he comes back it is going to be his decision. I am not going to pressure him. I take my marriage very seriously and have decided to be an Inspiring example to let my husband see how the choices I make impact how I feel about myself and our marriage.

Elligirl · Full Member Joined: 28 Dec 2007 Posts: 83

I have so much pain. I have to work but when I'm at home I pray all the time. Most of the time when I'm working. I just do not know how I can keep going. All the places I could go to for counciling are closed. My husband assures me he will be back and it will all be over with by this coming weekend. Yet he told a friend he didn't know what he was going to do. When he was speaking to this person on the phone she was right there.

Please continue to pray for me and help me to pray that thier soul bond will be broken.

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