Marriage of God?!

Elligirl · Full Member Joined: 28 Dec 2007 Posts: 116

Thank you so much for taking time to reply. I went to counseling. The last counseler was one my pastors wife recomended. A "Christian Counseler"
She said she could not help me.
I have read allot of your post and admire what you are able to do.

May God bless you and keep you during this time.
You are in my prayers.

ladyt · Full Member Joined: 23 Mar 2008 Posts: 172

I do not understand what is meant you could not be helped?

How many times did you meet with her?

I know until I surrendered to the Holy Spirit, I could not have the inner healing I’m beginning to experience.

I had two counselors until 2 weeks ago, one secular and one Christian. Not all Christian counselors are as trained to deal with certain things so you have to test the waters until you find one that is right for your personality.

If there is a women's center in your area you can try them. I would not stop seeking the healing that is needed. They are secular counselors that are not labeled as Christians but they have the faith.
I called Focus on the Family and spoke with a counselor and had a recommendation and I did not connect with her but I now have one that I connect with.

I can now look at emails and not be depressed by them. But I had to die to my feelings and let God take them over. I can walk in the house and not feel like I need my husband to respond to me.
I'm not saying that you are at that stage, but I will lift you up in prayer that HIs will be done and that you are given strength to press through the pain of this very difficult trial.

Get in the book of Psalms and James and live there. 

Elligirl · Full Member Joined: 28 Dec 2007 Posts: 116

Thank you ladyt.
I was told she could not help me because I told her God did not want me to give up on my marriage. She said unless I was willing to move on and make a new life without my husband she could not help. We spoke in depth about how I felt God had called me to stand, she took the get out and find someone else route.
I am fine today and was last night God has given me peace.
My husband called me this morning at 3:30 to tell me he was going to get her once again.

ladyt · Full Member Joined: 23 Mar 2008 Posts: 172

I am sad to hear that she claimed that she could not help you. She should have been willing to work with you through healing not trying to get you to give up on your marriage. I do agree we should have boundaries set to protect us.

There's a good book that gave me perpective called Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. You can order from christianbooks.com or from shop on www.newlife.com. I paid around $13 and some chnage I think for it.

Psalm 62:6 (NIV
He only is my Rock and my Salvation; He is my Defense and my Fortress, I shall not be moved.

Romans 1:12
that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith.
Be blessed and Expect Success!

Elligirl · Full Member Joined: 28 Dec 2007 Posts: 116

Thank you for telling me about the book. It sounds like one I will get.

The ow is back with my husband. He travelled all day yesterday to go and pick her up and get back. Then had to go to work this morning.
He sent me a text message last night to let me know he had made it safely.
I feel God is working. I can not explain any way other than that.
I have a friend I pray with or should I say prays with me about this situation.
I told her two days ago that I felt something was happening. She agreed that she had these feelings herself.
Please continue to pray with and for me.
Thank you so much

resecured · Full Member Joined: 25 Apr 2008 Posts: 145

((((Elligirl))))

You are still in my prayers, dear sister.

Love, -RJ-

resecured · Full Member Joined: 25 Apr 2008 Posts: 145

((((Elligirl))))

You are still in my prayers, dear sister.

Love, -RJ-

Jane_Doe · Newbie Joined: 04 May 2008 Posts: 21

I'm a little confused. I didn't read through all the posts. I skimed over some.

In one post I thought I read that you two weren't currently married, but were trying to get back together and work things out. I could be mistaken.

If so, I thought a person can't marry the same person twice....? I thought it was considered an abomination?

charity1 · Full Member Joined: 07 Jan 2008 Posts: 138

Marrying the same person twice under the old law was considered an abomination, but not in the New Testament:
1 Corinthians 7:11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to [her] husband: and let not the husband put away [his] wife.

babycakes · Veteran Joined: 06 Mar 2006 Posts: 309 Location: In Prayer

You are to be reconciled to your spouse, if at all possible, even after divorce. Here's another version that gives the verses before this text which might make it a little bit clearer.

1 Corinthians 7:10-11
To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

Elligirl · Full Member Joined: 28 Dec 2007 Posts: 116

Yes we are at present divorced but I am remaining and have remained faithful to my vows. I feel God called me to stand in the gap for my husband. The most important thing with standing is to stand for their salvation. I love my husband very much and God has increased the love I have for him. I ask God to give me His love for my husband.
I do want so very much for my marriage to be restored and do pray toward that end also.
What bothers me so much at this time is the effect the ow has on him. She is an alcoholic and a drug user, she does not work and draws a government check. The only thing that matters to her is having "fun".
My husband no longer has any pride in himself, does wear clean clothes, shave ect., even when he goes to work. He is a nervous wreck because he never knows when she will be there or if she will be gone. It is just very unstable.
I know my husband has to hit the bottom before he will look to God and I believe he is there.
She had left during Memorial Day weekend and he came home for a few days. He sat and cried and told me it had been such a long time since anyone had cared about him. I told him I always had he said I know.
Things have changed since then. He went back to her but things are different,
Please continue to pray for my husbands salvation and our marriage to be restored fully

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 1928 Location: Chicago

Elligirl, I may be presumptive but I have to ask -

Are you being intimate with him? I ask because you are no longer married to him, and you do not know if the OW is sleeping around and will bring something home to him.

It may be very hard because you crave intimacy and closeness and long to be caressed. But, right now is not the time to get this from the man you are no longer married to. Please look to God for your comfort and the hugs and kisses you may need. He will lovingly draw you into his arms and provide them.

Elligirl · Full Member Joined: 28 Dec 2007 Posts: 116

Thank you so much Sam. You are always there.

I am still married. Not in the sight of man but in the sight of God.
And I did get and STD from the ow but that was before my divorce and before I knew about the affair.

My husband does not come to me for sexual fulfilment but for love and caring.

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