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Salemcop
Newbie
Joined: 09 Jan 2006
Posts: 2
Location: Virginia
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 Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 1:05 pm Post subject: looking for the light at the end of the tunnel |
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My wife and I begin counseling next week to try to start over again. I am not going to give up on us. I need help in understanding my own faults and work to repair them, then work on how to repair the "us" part. Think of us in your prayers and I thank you for you support
Last edited by Salemcop on Wed Jan 11, 2006 7:29 am; edited 1 time in total |
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webacus
Veteran
Joined: 02 Mar 2001
Posts: 608
Location: Behind you.
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| Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 1:23 pm Post subject: |
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Welcome to GT and thanks for sharing.
You're right: prayer is key, but it's tough when
you've been beaten down.
Have you discussed your discovery with your wife?
Did you (and your wife) engage in counseling after
the affair?
Where is your wife "at" spiritually?
I've prayed for you; hang in there. |
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SAM
Veteran
Joined: 03 Mar 2001
Posts: 1950
Location: Chicago
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| Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 1:33 pm Post subject: |
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Welcome and I'm glad you have come to post here at GT.
My heart goes out to you and your family as well as my prayers.
Sometimes, when you have done all the hard work and tried so hard emotionally to restore what has been broken, it can be mentally and physcially draining to you. But, please call on God to be your rock and your strength. He can provide it if you ask and he gives assurance over and over again throughout Scripture that He will be there for us.
Your wife exhibits behavior patterns of someone with a spending addiction.
I only know this because I went through similar struggles with my husband. It required a great deal of counseling and I had to take over paying all of the bills - I still do to this day. All purchases have to be mutually agreed to if they are over $50. And, slowly we have rebuilt our trust over the years as he has come to understand the stress this puts me under. In some cases I've known a husband/wife to open a separate
P. O. Box and have all bills sent there so nothing can be thrown out or hidden by the spouse with the addiction.
It's not an easy road and there needs to be time spent in discussion about what triggers are causing her to overspend, etc. For my husband, I discovered a pattern of this usually occuring during the winter months and with the doctor's help, came to realize it was due to winter depression/lack of sunlight. |
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