chloe
Newbie
Joined: 16 Apr 2007
Posts: 1
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 Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 1:21 am Post subject: long distace+age+fears+impatience=help! |
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hi everyone, my name is chloe/i'm new here. i definitely am in need of getting some of my thoughts out--it seems my friends don't have any of the right answers. i would love some advice from more mature, married individuals concerning my situation with my boyfriend, ben.
i've been dating ben for about 15 months and it's been incredible. he is such a man of God and since dating him i have grown so much in my faith. we strive as a couple to center our relationship on God and through scripture and prayer together, i feel we are constantly improving on that. i don't think that anyone could possibly love me more than this boy does. that said, i am so grateful for him and love him very deeply.
so here is where my issues start. for the past 7 months we have been in a long-distance relationship and thus far it has gone by relatively painlessly. compared to most couples our age, we seem to have excellent communication and due to the fact that our relationship is not based on sex (we are saving ourselves for marriage), we have grown closer in a different and deeper way. however, the more i get to know this man, the more i want to live life with him, i.e. get married. being that i am only 20 and he is 22, i know that we are young but unfortunatly that is not the only thing that holds us back. we will not be living in the same city for the next 3 years due to college, him in chicago and me in milwaukee. just the thought of waiting at least 3 more years to unite in marriage with him is unbearable. along with this, i'm feeling a disparity in my emotions. part of me can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him, while another part of me is terrified of that very thing. i often ask myself, 'is this really who God intends me to be with?' i believe in life-long marriage and that is a huge committment, especially at my age. is this a normal fear?
ps. sorry so long-winded.  |
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SAM
Veteran
Joined: 03 Mar 2001
Posts: 1846
Location: Chicago
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| Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 6:16 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | i'm feeling a disparity in my emotions. part of me can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him, while another part of me is terrified of that very thing. i often ask myself, 'is this really who God intends me to be with?' |
I'm a firm believer that the Holy Spirit speaks to us through our emotions.
When we are at odds - when we have no peace - there is a reason for it.
For me, it usually is a warning sign that I should not move forward, but stop, slow down, pray and seek God's wisdom. If we ask Him for wisdom, He generously gives it.
I've always found that if my heart is a peace, God is part of the decision process. If not, it means I need to wait and pray some more and seek the counsel of those older and wiser than me. |
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