Knowing your spouse was from God - Choosing a spouse

danielle · Full Member Joined: 19 Apr 2002 Posts: 232

How did God lead you to your spouse, and how did you recognize that they were from God?

Davep · Veteran Joined: 02 Apr 2002 Posts: 463

One father told me he had three different young men claim it was "God's will" for them to marry his daughter. Hmmm!

True/False Quiz - By John W. Thompson

1. In all the world, there is either NO person or only ONE person who is eligible to be my spouse.

2. If God wants me to remain single and I marry anyone at all, then I am outside God's will.

3. If God has a particular spouse chosen and I marry someone else, then I am outside God's will.

4. If the spouse God has selected for me marries someone else, then I cannot enjoy God's perfect will no matter what I do.

5. If either a man or a woman marries outside of God's will, there is nothing they can do to reverse the decision and return to the center of His will. They are permanently stranded in the barren terrain of God's "second best."

Did you answer "True" to most of the quiz questions? Actually, the correct answer for all five questions is "False." Surprised? ???

1CO 7:39
A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.

God gives us choices, he doesn't chose a single person, but provides a garden of believers. God sets-up the lane lines and the boundaries, It's up to us to make our own decisions. And as far as a spouse he must belong to the Lord.

2 CO 5:7
We live by faith, not by sight.

danielle · Full Member Joined: 19 Apr 2002 Posts: 232

I definitely agree that there isn't necessarily "the one" waiting out there for us, but God does lead us to certain people on the other hand especially if we are waiting on him vs. us seeking a person out ourselves.

Davep · Veteran Joined: 02 Apr 2002 Posts: 463

Quote:

but God does lead us to certain people on the other hand especially if we are waiting on him

???

Does God bring us several selections for us to choose from? Like you said God does lead us to certain people.

Does God lead us to a certain group of people or to a certain special one given our time frame, or where we are at in our life?

Jujubee · Junior Member Joined: 19 Jun 2002 Posts: 29

Dave, 1 Co 7:40 says But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.

1 Timothy chapter 5 is about widows, and how they should act and things they should do. Interesting reading.

danielle · Full Member Joined: 19 Apr 2002 Posts: 232

Davep,

I dunno. It could be either I suppose.

Davep · Veteran Joined: 02 Apr 2002 Posts: 463

I guess the question comes down to this:

Does God make objective or subjective plans for us?

As parents do we make objective or subjective plans for our kids? We have dreams for our kids, and while they are developing we control their lives, but we give them the option to follow their dreams, as long as they are within boundaries.

Does God want us to learn to drive and enjoy his creation, or does he want us on those cars at Disneyland for eternity?

Does our God really want to pick out our clothes each day? ???

I Believe God guides us away from bad choices, but does not steer us toward perfect decisions. God's plan for us has always been to suffer and grow, and you can't grow by always making and chosing the right decisions. Because you never know if a decision is correct, until some time later after.

RO 1:20
For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities--his eternal power and divine nature--have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.

danielle · Full Member Joined: 19 Apr 2002 Posts: 232

I'd have to agree with he does steer us from bad choices & that we can't make perfect decisions. However, I DO feel you can know where a decision is correct without having to wait for "later" to come around because we have his Word that is full of wisdom to guide us in decisions and His spirit lives in us too. We just have to be open & willing to the Spirit's leading and follow. He's given us so much, its just up to us to use it. In other words, it doesn't have to necessarily be a guessing game when it comes to God. We can utilize the wisdom bestowed upon us and know if something is right or wrong, without having to wait for time to pass by to know if it was in fact correct. His Word is full of principles for us to follow, to know things beforehand.

Davep · Veteran Joined: 02 Apr 2002 Posts: 463

It's like the farm boy who ran to tell his father that he had to leave the farm because he'd just been "called to the ministry." Some clouds had floated by in the shape of a P and a C, which he interpreted to mean "preach Christ." His dad, however, deciphered the sign differently, and told him to get back to work since God was telling him to "plant corn," "pick cotton," "punch cows," and "pluck chickens."

The Bible teaches that God's sovereign will is purposely hidden from man, and that His moral will is already revealed in its entirety in the Bible.

MAT6:33-34
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

And nothing - including someone marrying the "wrong" person, can thwart God's sovereign will and plan. Therefore your decision must come from your heart and the love and closeness you feel towards your mate. God does not make decisions for us or give us all the answers in all our situations. He wants us to be guided by the principles of Scripture for all of life's choices, nothing more is needed.

We don't need to wait or look for ther correct answers or hints to show up.

danielle · Full Member Joined: 19 Apr 2002 Posts: 232

cute story.

So true. Very Happy

I'm confused though by your last statement:

"We don't need to wait or look for ther correct answers or hints to show up."

After reading the last statement of your prior response what exactly are you saying? We don't know until later or we do?

Davep · Veteran Joined: 02 Apr 2002 Posts: 463

danielle · Full Member Joined: 19 Apr 2002 Posts: 232

Cleverly said!

So please expound on what you meant by this, please:

"We don't need to wait or look for ther correct answers or hints to show up."

Also, as far as that verse in Corinthians goes, what do you interpret as someone "belonging to the Lord?" What exactly do you think this means?

Davep · Veteran Joined: 02 Apr 2002 Posts: 463

Earnest Christians seeking guidance often go wrong. Why is this? Often the reason is that their notion of the nature and method of divine guidance is distorted. They overlook the guidance that is ready at hand and lay themselves open to all sorts of delusions. Their basic mistake is to think of guidance as essentially inward prompting by the Holy Spirit, apart from the the written word - J. I. Packer , In Knowing God

The Holy Spirit never works against the word, but always with it and through it. The Holy Spirit attempts to keep us on track with the word.

We must learn to discern God's will instead of trying to figure out the details of his individual plan. Because in the end there are no such things as individual plan in the sense that each plan is connected to someone elses.

"Our call, therefore is basically not to follow a plan or a blueprint, or go to a place or to takeup a job, but rather to follow the Lord Jesus Christ" - Paul Little - Affrining God's Will

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Janine · Posted: Thu Jul 11, 2002 10:20 am Post subject:

Yes, we don't need to be dithering around, looking for a sign, tossing out Gideon fleeces to the point where we are looking for answers from God the way a voodoo priest tosses bones to look for an answer from his demon-gods...

Of course, anyone who is devoted to God will "feel" led from time to time; if we check out our feelings through the filter of the Word, we'll not be misled by distracting feelings...

I "got" my husband, I believe, because I prayed sincerely at age 14 for God to show me the way to Him, obviously, blatantly, plainly, so that even I could see it... Around that time, Mike became aware of me thru school sports, and we became friends & eventually "an item", and were married by the time I was 18. We are perfectly suited for one another. Only Mike could put up with me, and only I could put up with Mike! Very Happy

He had me led to Christ by the time I was 20.

danielle · Full Member Joined: 19 Apr 2002 Posts: 232

Hum....this brings me to my next question which I may post as a different topic....

I know we are commanded to only marry other believers to be equally yoked. BUT.....

Is it enough to just marry a believer? Should we as believers strive to marry believers, or "practicing, serious Christians?" There is a difference.

I sometimes wonder if I should just be happy & satisfied if its a believer I'm courting, or what if I want a very godly man, etc? Someone who is walking an active & dynamic walk with Christ. Rooted & grounded in the Word, God-fearing, etc. I know its ok to desire this, but do I go wrong if I feel that is a requirement for me, or a standard I've set that I don't want to compromise? As long as he is a believer is this all I should concern myself about??

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