It is hard

ladyt · Full Member Joined: 23 Mar 2008 Posts: 143

She says to walk out of the room, however she is not against me filing for divorce due to his issue with women and he leaving us for the 5 weeks and only returning b/c he was told I could not keep him out of the house.

I went to bed at 3:40 am trying to pursue peace with him. He evaded my questions and wanted to hug/kiss instead in which I denied his request.

I asked him had he spoken with the OW since he told me he was wrong for talking so much with her and he said he would not answer that question. I asked him how long before he would be trying to work on healing our marriage and he said he did not have a time frame.

So basically, it was a lost cause. I wrote an email tot he OW's husband but did not hit send. I printed it out and allowed him to read it and he just smiled and gave it back so I'm sure they have planned as story of the crazy wife wants to lie to OW's husband.

I was wrong for trying to talk to him. it was f I was begging. But the bible says pursue peace so I did however I'm no further along with reconciliation. He says for right now he wants things as they are, he staying in one bedroom and me the other. Meanwhile we are teaching our daughter this is normal.

I'm not sure how long I can last and what God wants me to do. I have asked.

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 1858 Location: Chicago

You never know what God has in store and how he may reach your husband.

Children are not blind to the actions of their parents. Your daughter is watching both of you closely.

If your daughter can get to a place of healing and understanding of her own circumstances, she may be the one who speaks honestly to her father.

I applaud you for your patience during a very frustrating time. It's very hard to not forge ahead on our own to change circumstances - but, please know that God is watching and has it all planned out. He knows what your husband will do.

ladyt · Full Member Joined: 23 Mar 2008 Posts: 143

I agree.

I don't want to get ahead of God but I feel like I fail Him daily.

I basically pulled teeth and nail out to get my husband to say non-sense and then I felt stupid as it did not accomplish anything except him see me as weak and begging.

I could kick myself. I know I must press through the pain and praise God for what He is doing and what He is going to do.

It's hard when my eyes are on my husband and my daughter and not on Him.

David began to bless as he came out of his trial but then said he will bless the Lord at all times, not sometimes.

I know He is near and will deliver me out of all my troubles, but when I want to fully trust I do something that shows my lack of faith, but I really believe He will deliver me out of this.

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 1858 Location: Chicago

God is your heavenly husband when an earthly husband fails you.
Find time each day to sit and rest in his presence. Let him provide the hugs, kisses and intimacy you crave. Ask Him to touch your heart and meet all your needs. Ask him for wisdom for your situation - he is more than willing to provide it.

James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

ladyt · Full Member Joined: 23 Mar 2008 Posts: 143

Thanks for the encouragement.

resecured · Full Member Joined: 25 Apr 2008 Posts: 102

Does he know that you have the cell phone bill that shows the amount of interaction between them? That's pretty much fact not fiction there. I pray God will give you strength as you keep encountering his smugness and lack of respect. Keep remembering, if you do your part according to God's will, He will not allow this situation to carry on as it is. I had to learn that God's timing is perfect, even if I wanted results faster and more to my liking. Remember too, dear sister, you have prayer warriors standing right along side of you.

Do "something" that makes you smile today, ok?

RJ

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 1858 Location: Chicago

ladyt · Full Member Joined: 23 Mar 2008 Posts: 143

Thanks to you both.

I do beat myself up sometimes but I'm doing ok right now and have decided I will not ask him again about our marriage and healing or reconciliation.

Each time I try, I get frustrated.

He knows I've seen the OCT-DEC bills but he does not know I have seen each month's bill as well as how often he texts her.

I also see emails if the person he sent it to, reply, I get to see the original email. That is how I know about the female that came to help with setting up the daycare center and he gave her a photo and she has been calling him and he said she had a work-out body.

God is good, I know for a fact, not worried if I am just over reacting to feelings. I know who he is having conversations and his friend from VA sends him porn PowerPoint and .avi movies.

Elligirl · Full Member Joined: 28 Dec 2007 Posts: 94

LadyT,

I do not post here alot but I did want to say something. I hope you don't mind.
The thing that makes me happiest is praying for others who are going through the same things I am. I can feel so much joy during this time. I feel that is because I know how important it is to help them and how they hurt.
I'm not saying that is what you need to do only that is what helps me to think on other things instead of my problems. Ask God what he would have you to do for him that does not involve you and your family. After all you can not out give God.
You are a very strong woman and I admire you greatly.

I am praying for you.

ladyt · Full Member Joined: 23 Mar 2008 Posts: 143

Thanks Elligirl,

Yes I pray for other marriages that I know are having difficulty. I know that whether my H changes or not, I have not suffered more than someone else. I know this is a training session for me. It has brought me closer to God and more in His Word.

I have joy amidst my pain and that can't be taken away from me. I know God is able to get me through.

I am daily seeking his will and seeing my H everyday is a bit tough however not unbearable.

I will continue to pray for him as well as my daughter. She has been in a good mood and very open with me this past week. So God has answered that prayer and I will wait on Him to answer the others and if he chooses not to answer, so be it I will be content with where I am right now.

Thanks for the support. I know there will be a ministry after my mess is over. Smile

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