friend has no sexual drive -problem straining the marriage

chewy · Newbie Joined: 11 Sep 2007 Posts: 1

I have a friend who recently had a baby and is a nursing mom. She struggled with sexual desire prior to the baby's birth, however now she said it she has no desire what so ever. It is beginning to impact her marriage and she has turned to me for help. That is not a problem I have ever experienced and do not really know what to tell her to help. Do you recommend any books or have any ideas about the topic so I can point her toward the right help. It is causing her a great deal of stress because she wants to be responsive and just can't. She also has suffered with bouts of depression and really struggles feeling that she isn't able to be the wife her husband deserves. Any suggestions???

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 2132 Location: Chicago

Depression in and of itself can cause a lack of sexual desire in addition to any medication she may be taking for depression. Also, she may be experiencing additional hormonal issues due to the baby.

It would be beneficial for her to make an appointment to see her OB/GYN and discuss this issue. Maybe if she is comfortable, you could go with her for support. There are many things available today that help. Also, blood tests can be done to check hormonal levels, etc. to see if that might be the problem.

You don't mention if she has any abuse in her background. That could also be a factor.

As for books -

Red Hot Monogamy by Bill and Pam Farrell
The Five Sex Needs of Men and Women by Dr. Gary and Barbara Rosberg
Every Woman's Marriage by Shannon Ethridge

As a friend pray with her and for her, that God will restore her passion and sexual desire beyond her wildest imagination.

She and her husband could read Song of Songs together - it's pretty steamy. Wink

Here's a great article to read together:

http://www.growthtrac.com/artman/publish/a-new-language-of-sex-1036.php

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