webacus
Veteran
Joined: 02 Mar 2001
Posts: 612
Location: Behind you.
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 Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 6:33 am Post subject: |
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Haven't heard of statistics, but from experience I can confirm
that intimacy with kids definately requires creativity, patience,
and intentionality.
You both need to recognize this as a life-stage -- it is temporary --
with limited intimacy opportunities and a time when you both
have less energy and less interest in intimacy.
Just keep repeating: This won't last forever, this won't last forever...
Check Out this Article |
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babycakes
Veteran
Joined: 06 Mar 2006
Posts: 314
Location: In Prayer
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| Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 10:21 am Post subject: |
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Webacus is right - it takes planning. Not the most spontaneous thing like when we first married, but oh so important! I've read where some couples make every Wednesday their special night of the week. They send each other e-mails or text messages throughout the day so they have something to look forward to.
Tiredness is definitely a huge factor. The greatest success comes from being ready and willing to serve your spouse in any way you can. Guys, the greatest secret to foreplay is bathing the kids, cleaning up the kitchen, reading bedtime stories, a few loads of laundry and making the kids lunches for the next day.  Or, hire a housekeeper if you can.
Plan those short evenings away. Trade off with some friends, or even have your friends babysit for a few hours - just so you have time alone.
Some couples eat a small dinner with the kids, then wait until they're in bed and have their dinner together with candlelight.
As for what is normal - that's different for every couple. And I'd be super careful not to make comparisons. Scripture is super clear about mutual agreement and not abstaining for too long -
1 Corinthians 7:5 (The Message)
It's good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it's for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I'm not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them. |
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