Growthtrac Community

My DH and I have been married for 24 years...I love him dearly...In our early marriage years I was busy with kids and he had his buddies to drink and hang with...(Not in bars but at there homes)There was times when I felt so lonely waiting for him to come home...If it wasn't for the kids I probably would have left....I would beg for home to come home early only to be disappointed...The other men's wives and girlfriends would me there..but not me...I had to stay at home with the kids...after ten years of this we moved and he had no friends...so I became his friend.. which is great...we have move about four years ago and he is starting to get invited to parties.. and with his job he feels he needs to go...but of course without me....(Our kids are 18 and 21 this year so they don't need me to be at home with them...)Some get togethers are cookings for the men only and I don't have a problem with.. but those that are both sex I do...
He never wants to ask if the wives can come ..he said he doesn't feel like he can.. so I am stuck at home...Use to I would not say anything just let him go but now years later I speak up ..And it is a problem...He wants to be able to do what he wants to do and me not say anything..Guess I just have this feeling that it is going to be like it was years ago.. I'll be all alone...But this time I won't have the Kids...I will be all alone...

There's something my husband and I made an agreement about many years ago - if one of us is not comfortable with it, we don't go. It's called putting protective hedges around our marriage.

We are a partnership and that means as partners we do things together when it comes to company parties, neighorhood parties or parties with the buddies. My husband doesn't go unless I'm invited This way his integrity is never in question - in other words, there isn't even the possibility of a hint of impropriety with another female.

He always comes back with I am suppose to trust him....

Trust is not even the issue here.
Making your marriage feel safe, protected and cherished is.

Scripture tells us - 'Above all else guard your heart" - Proverbs 4:23

Proverbs 6:27-29 -
Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned?
Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched?

Is your husband part of a men's study group or small group? If he went to his leader for accountability, he would be guaranteed a different perspective on this than "trust me".

That's alot of our problems..He tell me he is a Christian but he doesn't live it...He is not a part of anything..He goes to church every once and awhile on Sunday morning that's it..
Don't get me wrong he is a very caring man..a good father and provider..
But our values are not the same..and it is tearing us apart...

Well, take a leap of faith and check into a couples group/bible study that you can do together. Once you find one that seems to be something you might enjoy, then suggest that you do this together so you can both grow closer together and closer in your relationship with God.

If a husband is dedicated to his marriage and to his growth with God, this is something he will do with his wife.

Also, please consider picking up the book Power of a Praying Wife by Stormy O'Martian. There is a great prayer and study guide that goes with it. A new favorite of mine is Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs.

I feel like our marriage is under attack...About a year ago I women started working at DH office..It is known that she has broken up a 26 year marriage...This women is not a women with any morals....she is very flirty and picky...she is just evil...other people that work there say the same thing about her..even DH...But yet when it comes time to go to meetings she ask DH to go with her..and of course he says ok..Then it is a big fight with us and it has to get to point where it is either me or her before he will tell her he will go with someone else....He said he doesn't want to hurt anyones feelings and I should trust him....
Last week he tells me she had to help him on the computer and instead on just standing there she sat on his desk....He said all I could think of is where is Dianne and what would she do if she walks in and sees her on my desk...He new it was wrong but didn't have the gutts to tell her to get down...He would rather hurt me the to comfront her...but yet he tells me to trust him...How can you trust someone who is scared to stand up for what is right...I just believe that it is best to stay away from situations that don't look right...Don't put yourself or marriage in harms way...

Lord I pray for protection over this marriage. I pray that there will be a heart that hears and eyes that see when things are wrong and there will be openness to your guidance to stand up and protect this marriage at all costs.

Thank you.............