Growthtrac Community

Parenting never is over, even when they are grown and have children of her own.

It's been really hard at times, as I have two daughters, to watch them fall and make painful choices. We know from our own experiences exactly where they are headed - toward heartache and pain.

It's such a similar relationship with God - He knows where we are headed and He knows we are going to trip and fall, but He doesn't always catch us because there is wisdom to be learned from our pain. It's called dependence on Him instead of ourselves.

I'm sorry your daughter is experiencing this. I walked beside my daughter through infidelity with her husband. It was not sexual, but still painful. They have sought out counseling and he has learned appropriate boundaries with other women. They are now doing well. Yet, it is still hard to forget what he did to cause her pain.

I've worked through forgiving him and it has definitely been a process. He asks us forgive others as often as he has forgiven us. In my case, it's more than I could possibly count. I don't believe God tells us to forget because that is what protects us and provides wisdom and common sense - otherwise, he wouldn't have given us memories.

Can you forgive this man who has caused your daughter so much pain?

SAM wrote:Parenting never is over, even when they are grown and have children of her own.


Can you forgive this man who has caused your daughter so much pain?

Hi Sam:

I think the only why I can forgive him is due to the fact he a horrible childhood. I have heard some of his stories from my daughter. We do know that he does lie about stuff, so I'm not sure if all the stories are true.

I have learned to forgive people with my new eyes in Christ. I have also learned not to judge others. Although sometimes it is hard.

I did not want my daughter to marry him, because I saw things in him she could not see. At this point, I am not sure if they will get back together. I am happy that he takes the baby every week. Unless there is an Army training or some thing like that. He does do good with her as far as I can see.

I know she has to lead her own life but sometimes it is so hard. I don't like to see her hurting. She was already to go to college or the Navy when he walked in the picture. I can only hope there will be a time when she can go back to school.

Thank you
Josie

My husband is trying so hard, but where was he before, why did he not come to me adout his past? I just keep seeing the letters he wrote to her, they were so full of feelings for this woman. I feel in my heart he still loves her. He says no, he told me when he was with her he thought of divorce, but when he was back home, he did not. He says he does not remember much from that time. I feel i need to have some ?? answered. As to why? How long? And who ended it. When I have read the letters he wrote, he talked to her almost every day. I feel like such a fool, how could I have not known. He traveled alot and during the time period he met her he always told me he needed just alittle time to himself, they even went to the Chrsytal Cath. Grand canyon so many places. He never missed anight when away , that he did not call home. I do not beleive in divorce, and in my readings this is not easy but if pray for peace and understading you can get thru this. I just feel such rejection.

joblom1@comcast.net wrote:My husband is trying so hard, but where was he before, why did he not come to me about his past? I just keep seeing the letters he wrote to her, they were so full of feelings for this woman. I feel in my heart he still loves her. He says no, he told me when he was with her he thought of divorce, but when he was back home, he did not. He says he does not remember much from that time. I feel i need to have some ?? answered. As to why? How long? And who ended it. When I have read the letters he wrote, he talked to her almost every day. I feel like such a fool, how could I have not known. He traveled a lot and during the time period he met her he always told me he needed just a little time to himself, they even went to the Chrsytal Cath. Grand canyon so many places. He never missed a night when away , that he did not call home. I do not believe in divorce, and in my readings this is not easy but if pray for peace and understanding you can get thru this. I just feel such rejection.

Hi..

Does your husband know you found all these letters? When did this affair break up? 1995?

Do you guys have a Pastor or Counselor to speak with?

I could not imagine being in that situation. I am sure this has not been an easy road knowing all this has been happening. I am sorry for your pain.

I think you shouldn't hold this in anymore and go talk to your Pastor.

Let us know how you made out

God Bless

Aprild, a man can change. I know, I made the worst mistake of my life when I stepped out on my beautiful dear wife. I didn't even really like the girl, and definitely didn't want to put her before or above my wife. My wife and I were having problems at the time and I just made a HORRIBLE mistake out of lust and selfishness. God does bring forth that which is done in the dark to the light. I confessed of my 1 time mistake nearly 6 mos after it occured. My guilt began to turn into suspiscion. Once I began suspecting my wife of infidelity it was only a matter of time before she could tell there was something up and got me to confess my transgression. I've gone to God as a broken man, humbled and drenched in guilt. I put at jeporady everything that REALLY meant anything to me. Worst of all I hurt the one person that I love the most after God & Jesus. God has chastened, and purged me and I can in all truth say that once God restores my marriage and my wife forgives me I will be faithful to her until my LAST BREATH!! So have faith in God, he can change a man's heart, I know. I'll keep you & yours in prayer.

Jo-Bets How is your back? My prayers are with for healing. Yes C.B. does know I found the letters, He said that he did not remember he even had them anymore. The last letter was dated in jan-95. His plan was to meet her after a convention. He said they never met , that he broke off the affair. I beleive it was her , and she was getting tired of waiting. He told me he would never have divorced me. I have a hard time acepting his answer . The letters he wrote to her were so full of telling her how he felt about her. That he had always loved her, since she was 15. I feel he saw her when she lived in the same state as us. In one of the letters he wrote about that he was the one that always kept coming back to her. I have a difficult time now when he tells me how he feels about me. I guess your imagination runs wild, when he has not been honest about what happened. He does tell it is not my fault, but it takes both spouses for this to happen. I accept that. But I want him to tell me his story. I am reading the book Torn Asunder-it is excellant. I realize it has been some yrs since this all happened, but when it was such a large part of his life, you would remember why you choose to do what you did , and how , and who ended it. I am plaaning on this wkend to ask him to go to counselor together. He has been alone and also to our pastor. I have been to our pastor once, he refered me to a counselor. I have gone for about 6 months. Thank you for responding. I want more in our marriage then what we have. This should be the best time of our life. Our kids are on there on-and doing well. We are both healthy. C.B. has a good job, with semi-retirement in the future. I feel he needs to meet me half-way and work harder to get thru this-and I do see the pain on his face and the tears.

you are in my prayers. My wife strayed with an old boyfriend and wanted to leave our marriage. Thank God He saw us through this trial and our marriage is even stronger today!!!