Can open - beans spilled!

FaithHopeJoy · Full Member Joined: 25 Jun 2007 Posts: 100

(And apologies to Jeannie for borrowing/modifying her subject header!!)

I haven't posted for a while. I see there have been 105 new posts since my last contribution!

RJ - thanks for asking (in a recent post) how I was getting on Smile

.

Things have taken a dramatic turn....... and throughout the whole experience I have felt the power of ALL your prayers. Those prayers are going to be needed and appreciated more than ever in the coming months.

At the weekend, my H was caught with the OW (at her house) by our spiritual mentor, who visited unannounced. After claiming that they had repented - and having been forgiven - the affair and the deceit was continuing underground.

Why am I feeling so positive and uplifted about this shocking discovery?

Because my H has finally come to the conclusion that he can no longer work with the OW. (SAM - you have so often advised that "cutting all ties" is the only way). He has agreed to cut the ties altogether and has resigned his position with immediate effect. He has spent the last two days alone with God (I've been working out of town) - and I came home to find he has been making enquiries about marriage counselling. The bottom has dropped out of his world as a missionary, yet it has taken this brokenness for my H to realise he does want to work on healing our relationship - and getting back to where he should be with the Lord.

And do you know the most amazing thing? Last week I pleaded with God, saying, "I know you don't give any one of us more than we can deal with, but I just want to make it plain that I can't go forever without a sign that my H wants our marriage more than he wants the OW."

Praise be to our Lord, the ultimate miracle worker.

fishi · Full Member Joined: 29 Feb 2008 Posts: 70

Well FHJ, as one of the redneck comics exclaims, "THERE'S YOUR SIGN!".

I hope you now have some peace of mind. I know the future holds much angst. I will keep you and your marriage in my prayers.

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 1989 Location: Chicago

Our prayers are with you as you travel this journey with your husband. Your strength through this time is amazing.

What a very wise spiritual mentor - I imagine the Holy Spirit was directing him on this adventure to show up unannounced.

Hang in there dear sister -

Isaiah 41:13 -

I am holding you by your right hand - I, the Lord your God. And I say to you, "Do not be afraid. I am here to help you."

j3anjean · Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 7:58 am Post subject:

Borrow anything you want, FHJ! My goodness. I am in awe of your faith and calm in this storm. God works in amazing ways, doesn't He? Maybe it is not the way we had hoped, but all things work for His good.

Over the past few years, since I have been saved I have prayed and told God that I wanted my husband to come back to Him. I remember specifically saying, God, use me. I can handle it with Your help and Your strength. Whatever needs to happen, Your will be done.

You are such an amazing woman of faith, FHJ. You and your husband are in my prayers.
Maybe now, your marital journey, down the path God intended, can begin.

FaithHopeJoy · Full Member Joined: 25 Jun 2007 Posts: 100

resecured · Full Member Joined: 25 Apr 2008 Posts: 152

[[[[[[((((((Dearest FHJ))))))]]]]]]

I know all of us wish we could be there to just give you a super big hug!! Please know that we are sending your way the very best we have to offer. We send our love, our fervent prayers, and our words that we hope in some way comfort you. We can see God's strength shining through you, dear sister.

One thing I have learned is to be careful in what I pray for. God can so surprise us with how HE answers our prayers. What is so amazing is that we can definitely see that HE had you prepared for this bolt out of the blue. You are such a clear picture of steadfastness.

Apparently, with you having asked that prayer, you knew something wasn't quite right. It almost has to be somewhat freeing to understand "why" now.

Well, you have the "Faith", you've definitely had the "Hope", now you WILL experience the "Joy". I pray that you and your husband will now truly begin to heal. God is awesome, isn't HE? Very Happy

I hope you won't take offense to this, but I also hope that the OW is also at the point of TRUE brokeness. That she sees what it REALLY means to be repentant. My heart goes out to her family.

What I'm waiting to hear from you is how God continues to work HIS miracles in your marriage. We will be pounding you both with prayers.

We're here and we love you,

-RJ-

j3anjean · Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 10:22 am Post subject:

Seriously, FHJ, I'm thinking youshould be my spiritual mentor! Heaven knows I need one!

Our weekend great! We had so much fun. When I said to my co-workers or friends that my husband and I were going away to a marriage conference I was told everytime to "not get my feelings bruised." I guess marriage conferences have a reputation of being deep, soul searching events. Ours was just fun-reconnecting. We laughed and danced and sang. Everyone seemed to "remember" why they fell in love with this person in the first place.

I was releived! I really was afraid that if the conference was too intense, my husband might clam up. Now he wants us to go more often.

Believe it or not, we still haven't faced any major repercussions as far as the community is concerned. I'm sure those are to come. He still has to talk to his bosses/board members. My father finding out was the most difficult part. It is going to take time for him to believe my husband is capable of change. He wants me to have a plan B- ($ set aside to buy plane tickets, an attorney on speed dial, he wants me to look at job prospects back in Florida) At this time, I am relying on God. I choose not to have a plan B. No net. If I have to let go, I believe God will make a way.

I am developing a more relaxed attitude about the whole community thing. I think this is an answer to all the prayers. It's not that I don't care what other's think-but I will not let their attitudes or opinions sway me. I will not let them get me down.

Thank you for thinking of me! Keep us in your prayers as well.

Hugs to all,

charity1 · Full Member Joined: 07 Jan 2008 Posts: 157

Jeannie,
I am so happy your weekend was so good. I have found that having fun together is a huge part of the recovery process. We become so bogged down with everyday life and it's problems that we tend to forget to focus on each other. I have mentioned before that my husband and I attended an 8 week marriage course, and it was all about focusing on each other's needs. It is so easy to become selfish and to concentrate on what I want him to do for me, but I have found the more I focus on him, the more he focuses on me in return. I love it! We need reminding of how it used to be when we first fell in love.

I am glad there haven't been any major repercussions from your community. You're Daddy's little girl, so of course he is concerned about you, but you are right, when you have God on your side, you don't need a Plan B or a net! Faith in Him is all you need (and a little encouragement from your friends). Smile

FHJ,
I am so happy your husband is showing signs of turning his life around. It is so sad our spouses have to hit rock bottom to be able to realize they need to change, but that is normally what it takes. It is such an encouragement to hear how others on this Forum are standing strong and restoring their marriages. No matter how repentant our husbands are and how great they are to us, this is still such a painful process to work through. We can only do it with God's help and with godly advice from our brothers and sisters in Christ. All of you encourage me everyday.

resecured · Full Member Joined: 25 Apr 2008 Posts: 152

((((Dearest FHJ))))

Just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you and keeping you in my prayers.

-RJ-

FaithHopeJoy · Full Member Joined: 25 Jun 2007 Posts: 100

RJ

How thoughtful you are. I feel so blessed to have the prayers and support of such wonderful sisters in Christ. I am 'hanging in there', as SAM recommended!

It's just over a week since the proverbial 'can' opened. I am listening to the Lord (most of the time Wink

) and trying to be very patient!! I have to stop myself from wanting to rush things. You can imagine the scene........ Husband newly repentant, separation from the OW still recent and painful, rumours flying in the community about reasons for his resignation, loving wife goes overboard to shower him with affection.......

Having known my H for all these years, I guarantee the latter would put him in reverse gear! He is still choosing to sleep in the spare bedroom but I realise it may take him a long time to re-kindle loving feelings towards me. I think the OW succeeded in convincing (brainwashing?) him that he didn't love me. I am trusting God to bring him back to his senses!! I am full of hope. I pray that we will have an even better relationship ahead of us than we had before - bound more tightly to Christ.

So, for now, I am showing quiet appreciation of each tiny positive sign and each encouraging development - however small. It's all about baby steps, in God's time.

Thanks for asking, RJ. God bless you.

resecured · Full Member Joined: 25 Apr 2008 Posts: 152

(((((((FHJ))))))

Yeah, I understand the patience part. It can almost be frustrating, can't it? I find I would love to just push fast forward on my life, past this pain, but then, I would miss all the "little" blessings along the way. Most of the time, that is when I really see God working. So quietly and gentle.

I just wanted to ask you what you want us to "exactly" pray for. That's part of the reason, we're here, dear sister. Ask away!!!!!

God Bless you!
-RJ-

fishi · Full Member Joined: 29 Feb 2008 Posts: 70

(((FHJ))) Stay strong, my friend.

1 John 3:18 Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

I will pray that God blesses you and your marriage with fervent love and affections.

FaithHopeJoy · Full Member Joined: 25 Jun 2007 Posts: 100

resecured · Full Member Joined: 25 Apr 2008 Posts: 152

Dearest FHJ,

There is a verse that I believe fits you perfectly.

"An excellent wife is the crown of her husband". Proverbs 12:4

Your husband is so very lucky that you are concentrating on him and his healing. I guarantee you that not many wives would put aside their own feelings to support, sustain, or uphold their husbands who have hurt them. I find your strength so amazing. Your love for your husband is such a declaration of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

I will be praying for exactly what you have requested. I'm just going to add one thing more - God's protection over your family - that satan will be bound.

I just want to wish that every woman here will have a wonderful and glorious "Happy Mother's Day"!!!!!!!

Love to all,
- RJ-

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