Before Marriage - How does God show you whom to marry?

jadalina · Full Member Joined: 11 Nov 2002 Posts: 62

Ministry does not mean major outreach or preaching to the forgotten races in the dark hills. No! Ministry is what talent or ability God has given you, that you use to encourage others in Christ or how you serve others - i.e. through prayer, encouragement, fasting etc - that's ministry, and every christian can do that.

Anyway, we might not agree on ideologies, but we at least agree on one thing. God makes a difference in our lives.

I am still waiting. Will keep you all updated.

Thanks

Davep · Veteran Joined: 02 Apr 2002 Posts: 463

Quote:

God makes a difference in our lives.

I am still waiting.

You're still waiting for?

God to make a difference in your life? and/or
For God to give you a job?

jadalina · Full Member Joined: 11 Nov 2002 Posts: 62

I have to say, that this has been a widely exciting time for me - but at the same time, not knowing for sure, or just having things up in the air - did not help.

I managed to talk with a few of my friends, about this issue and one of them; told me in definite terms - that God could not and did not speak to me - he felt that the holy spirit did not impress him that this was God.

Bottom line: I decided to leave everything alone. Is it possible for God to speak to one person about the person you are supposed to marry - and not tell the other one? I absolutely don't think so. God works in miraculous ways and he is efficient too. Now, before you protest - I wrote to this guy a couple of times, with nothing concrete coming up. And, NO, I did not tell him about the secret that God had shared with me!

Of course, everyone's idea was that I contact him, and see what would be born out of. Do you think that I wanted to call and say hii - and figure out just who God has been "talking" to me about? Yes, I wanted to - but for the price of being branded a "stalker" - I did not explore it. There was an evening that my thoughts were to email him - and just tell him what a hoot this experience has been - to be betrothed to someone and that person not knowing!!! This probably would not have been the first for him - he probably has admirers lining up on the end of Alaska - just telling him he is the one that God has choosen for them!!

I don't think he is married, although I stand to be corrected. He is older than I am, and lives in CA. Am I still a believer in Christ- yes! Do I believe that God can talk to me - YES! But do I still think that this is truely going to happen? No. You see, from his email - I decided that he did not know, and if he did, he was hiding his head in the sand at the beach, and refusing to say something. But he is a saved Christian - he is in a ministry - why would he not say it? I don't think so. Also, from knowing he is a vegetarian - I quickly put the nails on this matter - I eat meat, and will not STOP.

Thank you Jesus for the cows, the hens and the goats. Thank you too for corn and potatoes.

So, thank you all for your feedback and help. I was asking God the other day - if he's joking with me and I am still waiting for an answer. I just want to believe in him for my salvation - nothing else. When I can no longer put off the issue of marriage - I will ask my pastor to marry me - to the oldest single man in my church!!!

I am thinking of sending this post to him - all in favor say "I". Or should I write a book instead?

God bless you all.

Wynne · Full Member Joined: 03 Dec 2002 Posts: 109 Location: USA

Perhaps he would take a printout of these exchanges and use them as material for his teaching, publications, etc.

If he did not give you credit as a co-author, then you would know he had a mean and parsimonious spirit! It might be one way to shed him from your mind.

Good riddance!

jadalina · Full Member Joined: 11 Nov 2002 Posts: 62

Thanks Wynne,

As hard as you may find this to believe - I had only seen a passport size picture of this man that God was talking about. Suffice to say - it is hard to fall in love with just that. No I don't have anything in my mind - to shed off and I am grateful for that.

I emailed him a copy of the post below - and just told him to read it as a joke. I hope he found the account and his involvement in my life funny to say the least.

God bless.

Davep · Veteran Joined: 02 Apr 2002 Posts: 463

God does not speak to us, but through us, and only with the Holy Spirit. satan is a angel who cleaverly speaks to your flesh. You have to learn to either be discerning enough to know the difference, or to be patient and test, to see who it really was.

Every thought, which you percieve as being good, cannot be assumed to have come from God.

jadalina · Full Member Joined: 11 Nov 2002 Posts: 62

Davep,

Thank you for your sentiments. God does not only show us/talk through us about what is good - he can show us what is wrong, bad or anything that is not good or good, with the intention - that we pray about it, that we seek him and his forgiveness. Believe me, I have seen things that were not "good" before, where God was warning me and my family; and I failed to seek him or pray about them - just because I didn't think God would show me those things. Did those things come to pass - YES they did. The bible has all these things in detail.

As I have said before, my salvation is my priority - and as long as I am doing God's will, I know, I will not miss his plans for my life.

I know what the devil can do - my lifetime of mistakes is here as proof. However, I also know the full grace of God, because without him - I am nothing, I have nothing. I am believing in God for everything. I have stopped looking at God like he has boundaries - i.e. God can do this, God can't do this. As long as the things that happen in our lives are inline with his scriptures and with our current situations in life - then we ought to believe and not question.

Remember at the begining of this post - I had hopped to find anything that would dis-proove this occurence. When sending my second last post to him - I still didn't know whether he was married or not. I felt that if he was married - I would see this as something not from God. (that is not all I am looking at). Unfortunately or fortunately - he is not married.

It leads me to look at all that has happened and to stop seeing everything just as coincidences. That things - everything happens for a reason. I am praying to God, and spending time in scripture - because I find comfort in knowing - that are his plans are for good. I know that in time - with time, I shall know his plan for my life. I have experienced peace from God - when I have questioned - why?, when, how etc? I have asked God - that above all, if this is not his plan, that he shall remove it from my life.

I have since stopped communicating with him. I have spoken to him once over the phone - and he was curious to know how I 'stumbled' accross him. I will not be in communication with him - because I am not interested in forcing anything. I am interested in waiting for God to show me clearly, where he would have me be. I am also praying that he shows the man involved the right way - whatever it is. I am a believer in God, that he does not tally - and right now I am happy just being his servant.

Sometimes, I wonder how much grace God has. He is so merciful and kind. He has the capability of loving us, and molding us for his purposes. I have come to know a God - who does not make excuses, who listens to me as I pray - who comforts me, who has become a refuge in my life - there is not one word - that can describe what God has done in my life.

At the begining of this year - I lost someone that I loved (breakup). During summer - I lost the most important man in my life, and that has been the hardest thing of all. I have sometimes questioned if God is going to give me a man, then take him away from him, as he did with my dad.

I know that his mercies are renewed everyday - that is the only way, that I can stand to say - that I can proclaim everyday that he is my saviour. I am not going to quelch his spirit in me - because some people say that God can't do certain things. All I need to do is to wait upon the Lord.

You all have been kind to me, and I appreciate hearing from you. I know that with the advice I receive from you all, I need to go back to God, and ask him to show me what is right. I know that I have to live right with God. The bottom line with me - as I have said before, is that: I will not put my salvation to the side for anyone or anyman. My priority is my salvation and my relationship with God. He alone knows what is right and good for me. He will reveal it in time.

God bless.

Wynne · Full Member Joined: 03 Dec 2002 Posts: 109 Location: USA

One can think of things God cannot do, dear. He cannot lie, for example. He cannot be petty, mean or small. He cannot sin.

How wonderful that your attitude is wait patiently to see what He can do, what He will do and what He does.

Tie your heart to His revealed word in your Bible. Scripture is ever our touchstone.

God bless you today.

Davep · Veteran Joined: 02 Apr 2002 Posts: 463

Jadalina

Everything that we think is good wasn't God's doing. One problem I see a lot is "spiritural invention". Not every great idea, plan, or hope we come up with is God's. I am patient and when God "reveals" is options for me, do I look back with a smile and say thank you.

Participate, don't Anticipate. Why stop talking to this guy? Just stop anticipating some greater plan.

jadalina · Full Member Joined: 11 Nov 2002 Posts: 62

Wynne,

Thank you for your solid encouragement. The scriptures show us the paths to follow. Indeed, there is no greater power than God.

Davep,
If you read my post above - you will see my agreement with your sentiment. :sneaky2: Not everything we think, is God's doing. That is why you and I, and all other christians out there, have to seek God's wisdom - in prayer and in his word.

I know you may spiritualize this alot - but God gives us wisdom, to know what we should and should not do. The idea of not talking with him, is not selfish of me. I prayed about it, and asked for help - from other christians, and if the man wants to keep communicating to me - or talking to me - he will. And when he calls - I will oblige him. Please understand, that I am leaving it upon him to do what he feels led to do by God. Furthermore, I know he is a gentleman. I know that God is faithful - and will show him what to do.

jadalina · Full Member Joined: 11 Nov 2002 Posts: 62

Hii,

I hope you are all well. I know that God hears the prayers of his people. Please say a prayer for me as you read this - that his will - and not my will, be done in my life.

God bless.

jadalina · Full Member Joined: 11 Nov 2002 Posts: 62

Happy New Year!

Hii everyone. Hopefully your holidays were as uneventful as mine. Quiet Christmass and new year, and getting close to to my family. A wonderful time.

One of my new year's resolution. I decided to disregard the 'revelation', and therefore, I am not interested in pursuing it.

I am sure, that I will be able to meet someone who equally holds my interest and is a Christian as well.

God bless.

Janine · Posted: Fri Jan 03, 2003 9:18 am Post subject:

I had an uneventful holiday season as well.

Or rather, I am having one.

Around here, Thanksgiving in late November kicks off the holiday season... Unless of course you're still finishing off candies left from Halloween, then you'd say it started October 31st.

Then the round of gatherings of family/church/friends starts...

Then Christmas...

Then the New Year coming in...

Then the Epiphany/12th Night, when the Mardi Gras season of balls and parties and King Cakes kicks off...

Then Mardi Gras...

Then Lent...

Then Easter.

(*Whew!*)

Around here, the "holiday season" is long and fattening. Late October through April.

Honey, you just continue to live in that Bible of yours, and pay attention to what God wants. If you can do that, you will be a prize for any man who wants to follow God... but, first, you will be a prize for God.

The man part may or may not ever happen. But you will be a jewel and a precious possession of God no matter what happens.

Liza001 · Newbie Joined: 12 Sep 2006 Posts: 4

Hello,

I read your posts and it appears that you have stopped pursuing the 'revelation' that this man may be your husband. I have been where you are and when God revealed my husband to me he had yet to reveal it to him. But before i knew this man was the one God chose for me, I wasted no time seeking confirmations because i didn't want my thoughts on a man that wasn't sent by God. The good thing is, if this the man God has for you, God will send confirmations. God knows we are following his Spirit and are subject to miscommunications so he is more than happy to confirm what he has told you.

Second, God knows where you are in your walk and He will speak to you in a way that you'll know beyond a shadow of doubt you heard from Him. God is awesome like that. At whatever level you are currently operating, God will lead you on your level. It was facinating and stressful when i sought God for confirmations but once I received them I never doubted that this was the man God chose for me.

I wish you the best and pray that God will bless you with your perfect mate and when he arrives you'll receive multiple confirmations so you'll know beyond all doubt that the person is from God.

Be bless!
Victoria
FindingGodsWillcom

(Incidentally at the request of one my subscribers I am currently writing a short ebook on how to receive confirmations. When i'm finished, it'll be posted on my website at FindingGodsWillcom)

Tamryn · Newbie Joined: 07 Dec 2003 Posts: 4

I am had the same sort of situation as you. He didn't know I liked him and he was totally clueless but i handed the situation over to God. I prayed that if I wasn't to marry this man then God should take away this affection I had for him. If I was to marry him then my love for him would grow and he would have feelings for me in return and that he would be the one to make the first move.
I had dated this guy when I was 15 and had broken it off with him 5months later. About three years later I thought you know I wonder how he is so I messaged him for his birthday over the weekend. I heard nothing back from him so I thought nothing of it until Monday when I got a reply. We spent that week messaging each other something like 200 messages each. He then invited me to his youth group. I went and as I walked up the stairs and saw him I almost kicked myself for breaking up with him. I felt such a strong attraction to him that I had never felt previously.
I waited a whole month but I still loved him and we were very good friends he would give me lifts to Youth and invite me places.
One day he said that he wanted to tell me something. I said to him that I think I knew what he wanted to tell me and he had no clue that we were thinking the same thing.
He came over the one evening and made the first move he told me he had feelings me.
Today we have been married for almost 4years and have little girl who is 9months old.

Ladies, God may be telling you who you are meant to marry but in order for you relationship with that man to start with the right foundation you have to No. 1 Look to God and wait on God PRAY. And No. 2 Wait for the man to make the first move. I know it doesn't sound very 21st Century but sometimes we girls can be pretty impatient and try to do things for God and we think we know what the guy wants. Just relax the right man will come to you and when he does in his time it'll be totally amazing and all you'll be able to do is stand there and say well that happened rather suddenly wow.

Don't run after a guy. Trust me if he likes you he'll do anything to come and see you even ride his bike 14km with a puncture to come and see you (my husband did that when we were dating)

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