Growthtrac Community

by **SAM** » Thu Nov 20, 2003 3:25 pm

No I am not a counselor - honest.
My ministry is to work with couples before they get married -pre-marriage mentoring. So, all the things you saw with your wife before you were married, I would have warned you about.
I would have challenged you to walk through a time of recommitment to purity before getting married. Maybe that may have taken your guilt away and you may not have walked down the aisle so soon. Who knows?

I have challenged couples with many things. Some listen and make changes in their relationships, sometimes they end things (I consider that a victory for God) and others continue to walk a path that does not honor God or each other. Or they feel their relationship is perfect, only to come back to me 6 months later to tell me how much they are struggling.

I am curious - if you felt God telling you to reconcile and consider this with your previous spouse would you? Just something to think about because He can change her too.
I am glad you have gone to her to say you are sorry, but have you asked her to forgive you???

Have you gone to talk to your mom and dad about how you are feeling? Can you tell them you feel betrayed? Because I am a grandparent now myself (hard to admit since I am only 46), I would want to maintain this relationship and keep it on good terms so I could see my grandchildren. My heart would break in two if I was not able to see my grandchildren regularly. They bring so much joy and laughter to my life. Just trying to show you a perspective possibly from your parents side. Sounds like you are angry with them too.

This anger thing is eating you up inside. It can and will destroy everybody and anything you come in contact with. It radiates from your words - I can't imagine how it radiates from your body, facial expressions, interactions with others, etc.

Can you go out with your ex-wife and children together? Can you enjoy meals together or movies. Can you visit and all play games together? Can you sit there and say kind words to your ex-wife in front of your children? Can you give her compliments in front of the children? The best way to love your kids, is to love their mom, even if you are no longer married. If you want your children to respect you as they get older, this is the way to do it.

I have some very dear friends who divorced after 15 years of marriage. She became involved in another relationship and they were apart for over two years. She eventually came back to him to ask forgiveness and guess what, they married again. If you had asked either one of them, if they would every reconcile again, the answer would have been an adamant NO! God does heal hearts, you just have to be willing to heal your own first.

by **Photographer** » Thu Nov 20, 2003 3:48 pm

Sam

You are really good to talk to. But there is more I want to talk to you about without it being published over the internet. Can I communicate with you by e-mail? My home e-mail address is

by **SAM** » Thu Nov 20, 2003 4:44 pm

If you go to the top of the posts there is an area on the top right side that says "Your Messenger". You can send private posts that way or if you go back to the Growthtrac Community Main Board which show the summary of all the topics and just click on SAM, where it takes you to my profile, at the very top it allows you to send a private message.

Growthtrac Community

Anger - Anger

Who is online