The Question of Identity: Who Are You?
Can you imagine the trouble people can get into when they don't know who they are and whose they are? Spiritually speaking, this is the fundamental reason why marriages end in failure.
The first thing any of us needs to understand is that we belong to the Lord Jesus. In the case of a married woman, her second commitment must be to her husband — if she is to function in the role that the Lord has given her. Therefore, if you are a wife who desires to fulfill the purpose that was intricately designed for you, you first have to embrace your identity and conduct yourself in view of the role God has given you.
Recall the passage in Genesis 2:18–24 that depicts the account of God when He determined to create the woman. Let me give you a brief recap: After He caused a deep sleep to come over Adam, God took one of the man's ribs, closed up his flesh, and put the brother back together. Then God used that part of the man and formed the woman. But something very intricate and deeply probing occurred through this creative process. You may be surprised to find that the woman's identity becomes lost in who God made the man to be.
If you don't believe me, then let the Bible speak for itself. Scripture says that God brought her to the man and Adam called her "woman" (Genesis 2:23). But in Genesis 5:2, God called the two of them by one name: "He created them male and female, and He blessed them and named them Man in the day when they were created." Notice the word "Man" is singular. God gave them one name and the name that He chose belonged to Adam. Clearly, when a man and woman join together in wedlock, it is God's intention for the two people to share the man's identity. That's why the woman takes the man's last name.
The Word of God expresses what has taken place in this way, "For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24)
Consequently, when God knitted the woman's identity to the man, He sealed her commitment to her husband.
In spiritual terms, what does that mean in regard to the wife? There are
five aspects of what transpires when a woman makes her marriage vows.
They are:
1. Her old identity as a single woman is
dead, and she is reborn with the man's identity. Isn't that what we say
about the new birth? When we are in Christ, our former identity no
longer exists (2 Corinthians 5:17). Through the baptizing work of the
Holy Spirit, we are dead to our old nature, buried with Christ, and
raised in the newness of life. This is the process that takes us out of
the old, sinful Adam and places us in the new resurrected Adam; that is,
Christ Jesus.
Jesus took the picture of our
relationship with Him, duplicated it, and gave that picture to the
wedded couple as a special gift. This symbolism is captured when a wife
takes her husband's last name. Through their marriage union, the woman
is now dead to her old life and old name. She has been raised in the
newness of a married life with her husband.
For
instance, if I were to present my wife and myself to you on some
occasion, I would say we are Mr. and Mrs. James Ford Jr. It would be
inappropriate to introduce the two of us as Mr. and Mrs. James and
Leslie Ford. According to God's law concerning the union of marriage,
when my wife assumed my name, her previous identity became lost in who I
am.
Adapted from
When a Woman Loves a Man, by James Ford Jr.
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