Your Success
The bottom line is, the Ten-Minute Marriage Principle Exercises work
if you work them. You are holding a marriage manual that has already
been tested in real marriages, even across cultures. I have traveled to
several countries teaching these Ten-Minute Marriage Principle
Exercises with the same positive results.
I have heard countless times, "We need a miracle. Without one, we
will be divorced." Through applying these principles, many, many
couples have been able to take control of their marital destinies and
experience incredible relationships.
You must accept that marriage is not a fantasy—in reality, it's
work. The work doesn't always have to be hard but it does have to be
consistent. If you don't do consistent work, you tend to have to do the
hard work. Let me give you an example.
I live in the mountains in Colorado Springs. I share my property
with all kinds of weeds. Weeds are a manageable phenomenon if I am
consistent. If I get out and spray or pull out the weeds when they are
small, controlling them is not much effort at all. If, however, I
become inconsistent, it becomes very hard work. I then have to get a
shovel and sweat a lot. If I had taken the time weeks earlier, it would
have taken a second or two.
Marriage is exactly the same way. If I am consistently doing the
Ten-Minute Marriage Principle Exercises, I am working—but not hard.
After all, it's only ten minutes! If, however, Lisa and I stop the
exercises for a time, our intimacy will begin to erode. Then friction
and not liking each other builds. The arguments and latenight
"discussions" begin. You know what I mean!
You've heard the expression "You can pay now or you can pay later."
That is so true with marriage. For Lisa and me, those ten minutes a day
are a daily investment in our marriage. Making this investment month
after month, year after year, decade after decade, insures that Lisa
and I will be relationally wealthy. I know there will be days when Lisa
or I may need to withdraw from our account. If we have contributed to
our account daily, there will always be relational resources to cover
the withdrawals when we need to make them.
The Time Frame
Now let's talk about the ten minutes. Lisa and I are busy, just like
everybody else. This year I will write a few books, speak at
conferences nationally and internationally, appear in the media, run a
full-time practice, meet with other therapists weekly in my office, go
to church, help with homework, exercise, date Lisa, and have people
over for birthdays along with all the other stuff of life we all get to
do.
Yet with all this going on around us, Lisa and I will still take ten
minutes where we are intentionally connecting. Lisa will never hear an
excuse from me for not having ten minutes. I always have ten minutes to
invest in my marriage. So do you.
I want to illustrate to you just how committed I am to the
Ten-Minute Marriage Principle in my own life. Recently I was asked to
do a marriage conference in Norway. This conference was to be on live
television and aired all over Scandinavia. When I arrived in Norway
from my very, very long flight, I ate a short meal, had time to change,
and was picked up to go to the studio. That night I spoke for two or
more hours and went back to the hotel. It took me a while to figure out
the international call system that I had to use in the hotel, but I did
it. Why? So that I could do my daily marriage exercises with my wife. I
was in Norway for a few days and my phone bill was over one hundred
dollars!
The Ten-Minute Marriage Principle is a lifestyle decision. I always
have time—it's how I use it. The way I use my time creates my positive
desires or negative desires. I always want a desire to connect to Lisa.
She is God's gift to me. My response to this gift should be so much
more than ten minutes a day but rarely less than ten minutes a day.
You, too, deserve to enjoy the greatest marriage possible. I tell
people I know that if they're going to eat, eat great food. The same is
true about marriage. If you're going to be married, have a great
marriage! Let me show you how.
Copyright
© 2007 by Douglas Weiss
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