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The Husband Project
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By Kathi Lipp
This is how The Husband Project
was born.
The
premise is simple: You and two other friends (your accountability
partners) commit to bless your husbands every day for three weeks, in
secret.
That's it. Pretty simple, granted. But not
always easy.
No Cookie-Cutter
Marriages
While working on the projects, I talked
with friends of all ages, in very different marital situations. Some of
my friends were in the oh-so-romantic stage of marriage. You're just
done in by how beautifully he shaves. As you pick up his clothes from
the bedroom floor, you just can't help but giggle at how adorable it is
that he never puts anything away.
On the other side
of the spectrum, I have girlfriends who cannot stand to be in the same
room with their husbands while they're breathing. The "inhale-exhale"
is enough to make them want to take up residence at a nice studio
apartment in town.
And then there are the other 94
percent of us.
We're the ones who love our husbands
but have fallen into a comfortable routine (comfortable often meaning,
you don't bug me and I won't bug you). We're partners in parenting and
contributors to financial matters. We've negotiated the household
chores ("I'll do the dishes if you keep the car from making funny
noises") and keep each other on schedule for the dentist and the
occasional oil change.
We like our husbands, for the
most part. And they like us, for the most part. While this is okay,
it's definitely not what we were anticipating as we planned our
weddings and dreamed about our happily-ever-after
lives.
I have to admit, I'm writing this book for me
and my friends-the 94 percent who want better relationships with our
men and are willing to be creative, thoughtful, and possibly daring
enough to break out some lingerie to get
it.
"But He
Doesn't Even Notice"
Some women who
have tried the projects for a few days wondered if it's even worth it.
After doing several of the projects, they complained that their
husbands have barely noticed.
So, if you're wearing
your cute jeans to meet your husband in the evenings, leaving bags of
Gummi Bears for him in his car, and wearing skimpier and skimpier
lingerie to bed each night without comment from your man, don't be
discouraged.
Working on The Husband Project is a lot
like working on your prayer life. I recently committed to set aside a
chunk of time daily to pray. As I devote more time to prayer and
meditation, I'm realizing that my requests are less about asking God to
make things go my way and more about asking God to change my heart to
follow Him and His plans for me.
The Husband Project
is as much about changing our attitudes as it is about blessing our
husbands. It's great to get positive reinforcement, and when you do,
write it down so you can remember it and tailor the way that you show
your love in the future. But even when your husband says nothing, you
have the knowledge that you have actively shown him love and support.
That's the true gift of The Husband Project.
If you
still need some affirmation (and who doesn't?) look for it in other
healthy places. In my case I have a friend, Lynn, who sends me a small
gift whenever I complete a writing goal. Even if I don't sell an
article, I still have the hope of some great Snoopy stickers in the
mail.
Ask your accountability partners to celebrate
your successes with you. Perhaps if each of you does your daily project
for seven days, you give each other a $5 Starbucks card, or if you do
all 21 days, you spend an afternoon together at the spa. Be creative.
As it says in Hebrews 10:24, "And let us consider how we may spur one
another on toward love and good deeds." A grande latte could be an
excellent way to start.
Adapted
from
Is The Husband Project
Copyright © 2009 by Kathi Lipp, Used
with Permission, Published by Harvest House.
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