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Sweeten Your Love Life
By Cindy Singler Dagnan
If we didn't grow up with the privilege of observing a godly, committed
marriage and don't later get our hands on a solid blueprint of how it's
supposed to look with wise premarital counseling, it seems logical to
second guess our hearts.
As romantic as it sounds,
the one thing I know we cannot trust is our hearts. We can't always
"follow our hearts." Scripture tells us that "the heart is deceitful
above all." We can be fooled.
Proverbs 4:23 also
cautions "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of
life." The Message translates it with even more bite: "Keep vigilant
watch over your heart, that's where life
starts."
Someone once said, "To love is to admire
with the heart." Most of our men would be thrilled to feel our sincere
admiration of who they are and what they do or try to do for us. It's
just that lots of us don't have a clue what to do when the honeymoon
bags are unpacked and the hard work of marriage
begins.
When Greg and I were dating, we foolishly
made what I always think of as the "kitchen cabinet promise." We
declared to one another that we would not let our marriage sink to the
abysmal depths that we observed around us. Our marriage would be
different. Our late night marathon talks about life, dreams, memories,
and philosophy would never stop. Our fights would be miniscule, our
romantic aspirations over the top. Nothing, neither children, nor
bills, nor adversity, nor petty irritations, would ever shake what we
felt, what we had at this moment. Good grief! You'd have thought we
were making a political speech!
We had no business
making such a promise. Not because it wasn't admirable or romantic, but
because we were leveling the pressure of filling a God-sized hole with
another human being. We were setting ourselves up for
disappointment.
What you're actually saying "I do"
to is hard work! "The marriage ceremony isn't like graduation; rather,
it's similar to the first day of kindergarten! It's not the
culmination, but the beginning." We need to start treating it that
way.
A man and a woman were in their early thirties
when they finally discovered each other and were married. They were in
an elated state of anticipation on their honeymoon, except for one
secret each had kept from the other: He had the stinkiest feet in the
free world and she, the worst breath.
On their
wedding night, while his bride was in the bathroom preparing herself,
the groom undressed and slid all the way down under the blankets,
praying that the covers would hide the smell of his feet while he
waited for his bride.
Meanwhile, the bride
procrastinated-brushing and flossing, gargling with mouthwash, and
brushing again. Figuring that she couldn't put it off forever, she
emerged from the bathroom. The eager groom patted the side of the
bed.
Snuggled up beside him, the teary-eyed bride
announced, "Oh, honey, I have something awful to tell
you!"
"I think I know," the groom blurted out. "You
ate my socks!"
Thankfully, not all of our honeymoon
surprises are this bad! Still all of us have some surprise in store and
some adjustments to make.
Checklist for Recapturing the
Honeymoon
If possible, return to the scene of your first date or the
site of your proposal.
Cuddle up with your favorite
snacks and watch your wedding video.
Shoot for a
not-too-far-off anniversary and plan a spectacular celebration-a vow
renewal ceremony, revisiting the church or city hall where your
ceremony took place, a special trip.
Let him open
the door for you.
Occasionally meet him at the door
with his favorite beverage.
Hold hands as you drift
off to sleep.
Cuddle on the
couch.
Read the Song of Solomon together. Out loud,
if possible.
Get a triple frame and choose your
favorite courtship, wedding, and honeymoon photos to
display.
Go on a honeymoon "walk," verbally
revisiting anniversary memories for each year.
If
the special nightgown you wore on your first night together still fits,
get it out and wear it. If not, search for a similar one and spend a
night away rekindling that feeling.
Copyright
© 2009 by Cindy Sigler Dagnan, Used with Permission, Published by
Harvest House. Adapted from
Hot
Chocolate For Couples All rights reserved.
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