Interrupting can be a bad habit...and it
automatically shuts down lines of communication. When we are so eager
and in hurry to get our point across, it is difficult to slow down and
not interrupt the other person. The quick interjection and cutting off
the other person sends out a bad message that they don’t matter. The
receiving end can feel as if your invisible, what you have to say does
not matter, and you’re not important. There are good intentions bind
this approach, yet it unfortunately sends the opposite message.
Here are a few quick tips on how to stop the bad habit of interrupting:
Remember it’s Not Your Turn: Remind yourself that
it is your partner’s turn to talk. Have your mind focused on your
partner and what they are saying. It is their turn, so your job is to
simply listen and try to understand what it is like to be in their
shoes.
Bite your Tongue: If you disagree or have something
to say, bite your tongue, pinch your arm, and count to 10 in your
head. Slow down your response and help keep yourself ground by biting
your tongue.
Breathe: Take a deep breath to calm down your
reaction and remember that you want your partner to be active in the
relationship. Sometimes just taking a breath will help slow down our
reactions.
Take a Mental Note: If something comes to mind,
take a mental note to share your point of view later. Your voice and
your views matter, so take note of it and bring it up when it is your
turn to talk.
Active Listening: Put into practice the active listening tool. Your job at that moment is to show your partner that you are
listening,
try to understand what your partner is saying, and stop thinking about
what your next response will be. Start active listening, stop talking,
and stop the active interruptions.
Value Your Partner: Successful communication is to
make your partner feel important, emotionally safe, and that they
matter. When communicating, make it your personal goal to send the
message that your partner is important and what they have to say
matters. Remember that your partner has value.
Take Turns: Create 20 minutes of
uninterrupted discussions
and take turns sharing your views, ideas, and thoughts. One person
gets to be the talker and other person gets to be the listener. Take
turns on each side.
By Jennine Estes, MFT. Copyright © 2010 Jennine Estes, used with permission. All rights reserved.
Read more from Jeanine at RelationshipsInTheRaw.com
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