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Rebecca St. James Marriage
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By Jim Mueller
How do you think your relationship is different because you waited? How could it have been otherwise?
Let’s start with the ceremony. Our wedding was medium-size — about 150 people — and different people said there was such an extraordinary sense of the Holy Spirit and such a beauty to the wedding itself. Some said it was the most powerful wedding they’d ever been to and I really think it was the purity element that set it apart.
A friend of ours said that it’s so rare that you see two people that have waited for each other and that there was a magical, lovely element that came from that.
And in marriage, there is a trust when we’re not together: he’s not thinking about anybody else and I’m not thinking about anybody else. No shame. No guilt. Just being able to come to that honeymoon and to our marriage with no shame — kind of like Adam and Eve before the fall—there is a paradise element that is very profound.
Do you think your purity platform will be different going forward?
In some ways I think that message is more powerful than ever because it’s being fulfilled. I’ve spoken to people since getting married that have said: It gives me so much hope. Single people that are holding out can see our marriage as an inspiration to them in being able to see the end of the story. It’s been a beautiful thing to be able to tell them God’s way is the best and His way for romance is absolutely amazing.
I think in going forward it will be more of an affirming message: God’s way is beautiful. Be faithful to your spouse before marriage and in marriage.
A
before and after story.
Yes, that’s true.
You’ve been married a whole…
Five weeks.
Any early, marriage surprises?
We actually worked through quite a lot in our dating relationship. I think neither of us are the kind of people that want to let things build up or let anything fester. We don’t shy away from conflict. Any time my husband senses that there might a little something going awry he will ask me about it, which is so courageous. He is a very strong, secure, loving person and he nurtures my heart in that way when he says:
Hey, let’s talk about it. What’s going on with you?
And Jacob leads you spiritually…
Probably the biggest thing that I have appreciated so far is that he has been leading devotions. We were given a devotional book called
Night Light by Dr. Dobson and his wife Shirley. We’ve been reading that every day, even when we’re apart because he has been traveling for work some and I have, too. Even long distance we will read this devotion and respond to the questions. If we can’t talk on the phone because he’s overseas we’ll email each other. That has been such a bonding thing to have devotions each day and will be a tradition we’ll continue.
So, part of his work life is travel also.
Yeah.
How might that affect your relationship?
I think in some ways so far — praise the Lord — it’s deepened our love for each other. When you go through that trial of missing each other and have to work at other ways of communicating, your relationship can get stronger.
I don’t want it to be a habit, though, because it’s so hard being away from him. I believe that ‘leaving and cleaving’ doesn’t just mean your family. I think it means prioritizing marriage before anything, under God and second to Him.
I will probably travel with him quite a lot and I’m super excited about being his helpmate, his support, and his wife. I’ve waited to be somebody’s helpmate — somebody I believe in with all my heart, believe in their mission and their calling and so it’s a joy to get to do it now.
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Other than doing devotions together, are there any other ways you express spiritual intimacy together?
We pray together quite a lot. We were on the phone last night and he prayed for me and he’ll text me and say,
Hey, just to let you know I’m praying for you right now. And he did this morning while I was leading worship. We feel prayer is a big part of our intimacy as a couple.
When was the last time you guys had fun?
Oh, my goodness, we always have fun. (laughs) He makes me laugh. He’ got this quirky, goofy side to him which I absolutely love.
When I was home last week we went to the beach and he was making me die with laughter with a story he was telling. So whatever we do and wherever we are, that’s where home is. We share our hearts a lot and it’s a beautiful connection.
Copyright © 2011 by Jim Mueller, President and co-founder of Growthtrac Ministries.
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