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Renee
My father is from the former Yugoslavia and Muslim and my mother was raised Catholic. So, I was baptized Muslim and raised Catholic myself until I was six years old, and about that time we stopped going to church.

Later in grade school I started attending a Methodist church with a girlfriend and was confirmed Methodist. I then changed churches again during high school and started attending an Assembly of God church with a girlfriend. Through college I didn't go to church at all.

Michael
I grew up primarily irreligious. My mom was raised Catholic and my father was raised strict Christian Reformed. I think he felt because he'd been to church twenty times a week it hit him the wrong way. He left religion up to the kids to pick up or not, so we grew up without religion in the household.

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Being raised in western Michigan, I had a lot of friends who attended local churches. I got invited to catechism on Wednesdays, and I went a few times. That was the most exposure in high school I had to religion. In college, I went to Hope College, which is associated with the Christian Reformed Church. It's a liberal arts college and religion courses were a mandatory part of the curriculum, so I had taken a few classes there. Though I was curious about religion, I approached those classes more academically than attempting to pull something from them spiritually.

Renee and I were dating and got engaged earlier this year. Friends of ours, Andy and Leslie, had said, "You know you should check out this marriage seminar. It's really great. It's about relationship and communication." The seminar was at this church, which was fine.

Renee and I had always been really open to learning more about how to communicate with each other and ready to grow in any aspect — especially with our relationship. So, it was kind of a no-brainer for us. So, we said "Let's do it!"

It was a six-week seminar we started attending. There was a spiritual angle to it — talking about God's design for marriage. That was a new concept to us. God's design for marriage... what does that mean?

One day Renee said, "Do you want to go to church?" I said "Sure," and so we did. That's where we started looking, wondering and asking questions.

Renee
Over the last two years, during the glory days of the dot-com era, work started getting harder. It was starting to really take a toll on me. I began to question the purpose of life, wondering why do I put myself through this everyday, is it worth it? Those were the questions in the back of my mind. I had questions about religion, God, and Jesus and how that all fit into that huge "what is the purpose" question. It was very exciting to learn about new things as we started on our seeker's adventure.

As I was seeking answers to questions, I didn't know where to look. Those answers fell in my lap with the marriage seminar invitation and participating in that and learning more about Christianity. That helped to answer my initial questions.

Michael
Prior to that we were looking at the personal growth aisle of Barnes & Noble, the self-help books. We were self-help book junkies.

I'm a logical, reasonable human being. I can see the power of faith in other people and what it has done with their relationships and I see the sense of guidance; I recognize that outward side of faith in other people. I like that. I see that. I want that. But, I didn't want to give up reason.

So far, I hadn't seen God and I hadn't been presented with information to make me comfortable really digging in and accepting this. I was at a very analytical, factual point but open to it. I needed to find some information that spoke to logical sensibilities.

Renee
I had been through so many religious experiences in my life, so many different churches, that I never really understood why people were religious. You go to church and follow the routine. I was involved in youth group activity, but I never had the core questions answered. What is Christianity? What does it mean to be a Christian? Why are there different religions? How is that looked upon if their whole lives they're brought up Muslim and never get the opportunity to understand Christianity — What does that look like in heaven?

Michael
I remember our neighbors looking down upon us because we were home on Sunday mornings and a classmate who told me that I was going to hell. That's such a polar opposite to what I'd seen just recently around this new church that seemed to welcome the questions I had. Even within Christianity itself, I wondered how it can look so differently between what I grew up with and what I've seen here at this marriage seminar and in people around this church.

I needed that question answered. I didn't want to end up in that camp that once excluded me. I felt like I was really open to the answer, but I was going to be a tough critic.

Renee
At the marriage seminar, we filled out this NextStep card, indicating we wanted to learn more about Christianity. We were paired-up with a mentor couple. We utilized them as a great resource.

At the first meeting we laid out all our questions and were directed to a series of audio tapes and books — The Case for Christ and Christianity 101 — to get us started understanding Christianity.

Michael
I remember the impact of the Christianity 101 tapes. You want facts, you want reason? Here you go! I didn't know this existed. It was extremely powerful. That was the hook for me, that I didn't have to throw away reason to experience faith.

I supplemented what I heard with online research and bounced additional questions off our mentor couple.

Renee
Case for Christ, by Lee Strobel, who was an atheist, caught my attention. Here's a person who wasn't a Christian who took an investigative reporting approach. Here was an objective book about the facts of Christianity.

Michael
The more I learned about Christianity, the more I knew I was disconnected from something with which I should be connected. It was like, the further along you get, the faster it is you want to learn, grow and get there. That's what drew me forward.

There was grounding that was needed. Not until we started to see more of the spiritual picture did we realize what little spiritual footing we had. It was scary and exciting at the same time. Experiencing it together was such a powerful thing for our relationship; we just wanted to keep doing it for us, on a relationship level. It was a fantastic time in terms of interacting and connecting with each other.

It seemed, everywhere there were signs and events and people saying, "This is where you guys should be." Three people I respected at work turned out to be Christians. One of them, Andy, was the person who invited us to the marriage seminar.

Another Christian coworker, aside from my father, has had the most influence on my professional integrity. Those relationships helped me see how Christians are in the world. I understood that Jesus shapes who they are as human beings. That was powerful.

Renee
Michael had his answers before I did. I was fighting the decision because I felt like I was giving up control. That was the biggest struggle for me; letting my guard down and saying, "Okay, it makes sense. The information clicks." I sat on it for a couple weeks and let it eat at me before I could make a decision.

Michael
I remember saying to Renee, "What else do you need to know?"

Renee
I remember fighting Christianity. It was a big decision. All the answers pointed in one direction; I needed to let go, give up control. I didn't feel pressure.

Michael would ask, is there any more information you need? My answer would be, "I'm just waiting for the light to turn on. I'm digesting information." That was really a cover.

Michael
I didn't know I had all the information I needed. It was an admission that I would never know all the answers. I thought about a judicial system. I needed to make a decision based upon a reasonable doubt, not beyond a shadow of a doubt.

I was holding back for Renee. Because we had come this far together, I wanted to stick with her, but I knew the nature of deciding to become a Christian isn't something you should wait for. It was tough. I balanced my readiness with an interest in not leaving her behind or pushing her. Or saying, "You're too slow". I wanted to do whatever I could to help her get there.

There would have been a point when I would have gone ahead. There would have been a point where that's what would have been needed.

Renee
I came to a realization after a conversation with our mentor couple that there is a growth period after inviting Christ into your life. It's not as if you're suddenly a 100% experienced, devoted Christian the moment you become a Christian. Knowing there was that freedom where I could still learn, that helped. It's the same as life — you grow as you experience it. That was big for me.

I knew then I could be convinced without a ball of fire falling out of the sky. I understood that Christianity is a gradual process.

Michael
I remember before accepting Christ, there was a time where I wondered, "Did I ask every question I need to ask? I remember asking if it would be okay to still have a glass of wine with dinner, but what about the other questions..."

We were at a lunch meeting with our mentor couple. It was at the restaurant next door to our office. After lunch, we moved over to a conference room — it was just another meeting.

I think it was apparent. Here were two people who were ready, but needed a push. We had a good conversation and then a question after a long pause: "So what about now?" Are you ready now? We were ready. We prayed right there. We asked Jesus into our lives. On April 24th 2002, at 12:45pm, we became Christians.

Renee
There was a sense of relief, a sense of happiness. I thought, "What is the next step? What's next?" That's my personality. I was ready to jump in.

Michael
For me it was relief and anticipation. It felt like the communication line with God was opened and I was somehow now ready to see things and hear things I was never open to before. That was really exciting.

Renee
As much as I like being in control, I didn't want to be in control of the work situation I was in. Almost immediately, I sensed this huge relief to have some of that weight taken off my shoulders. I felt, "Someone else is in control and will help me through this." God was looking after me.

I think it's gradual as you see God do great things in your life, you realize that wow, He really knows what He's doing and you will trust Him more and give Him more of your life — Even the parts I don't want to give up.

I am definitely a different person than who I was six months ago.

We've started attending our church regularly and love the services. We're both recently-baptized, too. It's all been amazing.

I just returned from a mission trip in Mississippi to help build houses. I spent twelve days with a group of Christians from our Gen-x ministry. I was the baby Christian of the group. It was amazing to see God's work in those individuals and to hear their life experiences. I'm not around Christian community every day. I learned a lot from people's actions and behaviors, and seeing how they minister to others. The bible studies and late night conversations... I learned a lot about myself. That trip changed my life.

I had my first small group meeting. Ironically, I met four women from my town. What a coincidence! We have the beginning of a powerful relationship.

I've felt a calling to our children's ministry, serving at the weekend services.

Now that we have a church home, we decided to engage in the pre-marriage process to get married at our church. What's amazing is that the couple that initially invited us to the marriage seminar, Leslie and Andy, were mentored by the same couple!

Prior to becoming Christians, Michael and I bought a house together and have lived together. As we progressed through our pre-marriage mentoring and learned more about God's design for marriage, we knew we needed separate living arrangements.

As tough as a decision as it was, and as much as we've struggled with it, we knew it was the right thing to do. We prayed about it.

Michael travels for business four nights a week, so we needed a plan for those remaining three nights. Michael's plan was to camp-out for those nights at a local campground, up until the wedding day. We had no other options.

I got home from Mississippi and told Michael, "I found a place to stay!"

One of the girls on the trip has a home just five minutes from us. That will be my new home.

Michael
That was an amazing turn of events leading up to Renee's friend offering a place for Renee to stay. It was as if God said, Thank you for trusting me, and here's something even better for you."

I was taken by surprise just how present my spiritual life is in my everyday life. I don't get the opportunity to do bible study every day, but just by understanding what it means to live a Christian life and live as if Christ were in your life; to know what that means and to do your best to fulfill that commitment. So much of what you do, minute-by-minute, is impacted. To be able to live that way and to relate to people that way, it's really powerful. It's a fantastic way to live your life.

It's the day-to-day interactions that impact me the most. Renee is more community-connected than I am, simply because I travel.

I'll be going on an upcoming Men's Retreat, I'm looking forward to meeting more people around the church. I'm also taking an online theology course at Moody. Because I have a secular undergrad degree, they said I should go directly to the Master level courses. I thought, "Whoa! Are you sure?!" It's fired me up. This is my next step to grow spiritually and intellectually. I was never a huge fan of school, but I am so ready for this to start. It will be a good balance to supplement the new relationships I hope to gain from the retreat with this new knowledge. I chose that course so that seminary is a viable option down the road.

Renee
Our wedding day will be so incredible. Six months ago the wedding to me was, "Well, let's just get married and have a big party." It was the party for me. We'll do something outside, not too complicated. We'll Rent-a-Rev... There wasn't a lot of meaning other than knowing that we loved each other and we wanted to be together. It was the "making it official party". And now, it's so much more.

Michael
Understanding what marriage is from a scriptural perspective and understanding God's design for marriage. And we understand that piece of the puzzle of how a spiritual life can impact a marriage. We can allow the ceremony to welcome God in to our marriage, and acknowledge how important that is to us, in front of our family and friends. It will be such an opportunity.

Renee

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And following the steps of the Christian view of pre-marriage — sexual purity and not living together — that is something we didn't have before, but have now. Marriage won't be just another day of the same "stuff". It will have so much more special connectedness between the two of us and God.

Michael
Standing at the altar knowing that we're honoring God by doing it right. Renee and Michael reside in a suburb of Chicago and were
married October 12th, 2002.

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