Tell me about your couples group.
What I love about our group is we're able to have open and honest conversations with each other and that is so refreshing. We know the good stuff and the bad stuff in each others lives, but we're choosing to come alongside and love one another through it and pray that God will give us wisdom in speaking to each other.
There are all different personalities and people in different walks of life. One couple is really struggling in their marriage and they're open. There's myself and another girl who are new moms. Her daughter was born the day before Maverick, so we're walking through similar things. We've cried together feeling like we're having to let our dreams die in some ways but then realizing the call of a wife and a mother and how precious it is. Also, how weighty these roles are because were both pretty ambitious before we got married. But God has humbled us and quieted our hearts and made us realize what really matters.
What have you and Jacob learned about marriage?
For Jacob and I, whenever we're having an argument we each feel we need to win. We're both first-borns so we're Type A to the max, really stubborn.
We were talking in our small group that when there's a mindset about wanting to win and come out on top, we've both lost. You need to go at it from a perspective of we're going to have this discussion and we both need to come out feeling like we've been heard and settle in a good place. That revolutionized us. We've got to kill our pride and choose to love each other so that we can both win.
Lately, what do you hear God saying to you?
A lot of it has to do with having a child and realizing the depth of God's love for me. I feel as though I am really hardheaded and stubborn and God has to tell me stuff over and over again.
I remember right before I found out I was pregnant I had this revelation. Jacob and I were home for Thanksgiving with my family and I stumbled across this newspaper article written about me while I was at Liberty. I read a quote I had said. It was something like, "I write songs and it's the overflow of my relationship with the Lord. And it tells the story of my pursuit of God." After I read this quote it didn't sit well with me.
Later that night Jacob and I were in bed and I sat straight up and said,
Jacob, I was wrong. It's not my pursuit of God. That's not the story. It's God's pursuit of me. He said,
What are you talking about? I said,
That's not it at all. It was the Lord slapping me over the head with it.
I am not always faithful in pursuing God and I'm not always in God's Word everyday. But He's always pursuing me. He's not distracted. He doesn't give up on me. This revolutionized my life and it has taken on a whole new face, ever since I've been a mom.
God is always pursuing and His love for me doesn't change. When I believe the love God has for me and I truly choose to trust in it, I don't take situations into my own hands as much. I believe God is good. I believe He is love. I believe I can trust Him. And so why would I try and mess that up? But the days I don't believe in God's love for me is when I try and manipulate circumstances and take control of my own life.
This is what He has been teaching me lately. Every day I feel like He patiently and tenderly whispers again and again.
I'm pursuing you with an everlasting love. It's not based on your performance or your position. It's based on My love for you and the fact you are Mine.
Have you written a song about that?
Not yet. I feel like I am still processing it. I know there's a song in there somewhere.