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Matthew West Marriage
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By Jim Mueller
What does spiritual intimacy look like in your marriage?
Emily
Praying together. And when we’re alone, we talk about our dreams as a family and we give each other things we can be praying about. Sometimes we’ll go on walks together, that’s our re-connect time.
Matthew
When I’m home on a Sunday morning, and we get to go to church together, there’s something about that time when we’re worshipping together. That can be the strongest spiritual intimacy for me, to be with her worshipping , praying, connecting to a message and driving home talking about it.
The reason I say that is, we don’t always get to be in church together. That’s something that hurts.
What is God saying to you about your marriage?
Emily
Before Matthew started to make the album, The Story of Your Life, we were in a place where I wasn’t going with him on the road that much, and he was coming home frustrated for different reasons – missing his kids, missing me.
Then, we got these 10,000 stories (the 10,000 personal stories mailed to Matthew as part of his
The Story of Your Life project) and we started reading them together — that really changed a lot for us. It changed my view of what he does and how necessary his ministry is. The Lord is keeping me strong at home and allowing him to go and not feel guilty.
So, Emily, the stories impacted you as well.
Emily
Yes. We live in a little town outside of Nashville that is not the most culturally diverse; our neighborhood is maybe 90% Christian. The stories opened our eyes to the rest of the world. The way we view things has changed.
Matthew
The stories have been a deep well of not just inspiration, but life application. If all I did was get songs out of this, I think I would have missed the point. That’s why I wrote the song,
My Own Little World, and put it out as the first radio single because that was the big takeaway for me. I was looking for inspiration for songs, but God was giving me a greater insight into the platform that He’s given me. No longer do I look in the audience and see a bunch of faces — I see a crowdful of stories. And they’re all in different places. What can I say or do, how can I live today that would impact someone else’s story in a positive way?
I’d be the first to say that I fall short of that all the time. On any given day, we’re gonna fall short, and yet those stories come back and remind me that people are all around me and God can use me to impact. That goes for all of us.
How does accountability work in your marriage?
Matthew
Accountability is huge for our lifestyle because of my time away. Over the last several years I’ve had accountability partners that meet with me, and in many ways that has a direct impact on my marriage. Your wife will know you better than anyone else, but a couple of close buddies can ask you the questions your wife won’t ask.
Are your band mates that accountability?
Yes, they have become very much that way. We lift each other up, we’re holding each other accountable. . . . Honestly, we spend as much time with each other as we do with our families, which is scary (laughs). I want to surround myself with that.
As a preacher’s kid I always looked up to Billy Graham; he was a major evangelist that was never, ever questioned or in trouble for any scandal or infidelity. I always thought that was really impressive. We see artists fall all the time, I want to surround myself with accountability all the time.
Accountability impacts our marriage; I think we’re both open books.
Emily
There’s never a question in my mind. There’s never anything going on in the bus, there’s nothing inappropriate on his phone — I’m not worried.
When Matthew is on the road, you’re a single mom. What is your support system?
Emily
When he’s gone I have Matthew’s mom, most days. Every day he’s out of town someone is calling to check on me and the girls. We have family nearby and lots of great mentors.
Closing Words?
Matthew
We’re fortunate that through my parents we have an amazing example of marriage and parenting — a marriage that stays together no matter what. I want people to know that our marriage is like everyone elses — it’s not perfect. It’s flawed, we let each other down, we have bad days and arguments. What we always come back to — and I pray we will for the rest of our lives — we will pick back up; we’re not going to quit. We know God will give us the strength we need. At the end of the day, I know Emily is still in my corner, and I pray she knows I’m always in hers.
Copyright © 2011 by Jim Mueller, Growthtrac Ministries.
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