Focus Change You will no longer be able to give your spouse all your personal attention. Both you and your spouse must commit to not take this reality personally. You are not neglecting your partner, just taking some time that you would have spent with each other to devote to your new baby. However, it's important to continue to make time together a top priority. Infants take around-the- clock care, so what happens to your marriage relationship during this time? Ask God to give you a realistic glimpse of what your current priority list looks like and if any adjustments should be made before the baby arrives.

Less Time Together Making time for just the two of you (without your baby) may become your new creative project. It was so easy before to be together. There were no distractions, but soon things will be different. It will take more effort from you and your spouse to make sure that you are continuing to nurture your relationship. Consider regular date nights or spending time together when your child is asleep. Remember, you can't have a growing relationship with someone if you neglect to spend time nurturing that relationship.

Oneness How in tune you feel with your spouse has the potential to decrease after having a child. But this doesn't need to be the case! Remember that technically you are one. Genesis 2:24 says, "For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." Both you and your spouse MUST make the effort to continue nurturing your marriage relationship. Your oneness will affect the life of your child. It really will. Think about your own parents. Did they enjoy one another? What did that look like to you? What does enjoying each other look like in your own relationship? How do you know when your spouse is enjoying you?

Hobbies Now that you have a child, you may not find time to train for a mini-marathon, or your husband may not find time to rebuild the engine on his '66 Mustang convertible. Both of you may discover that your hobbies and interests change to include your child. Consider using free time as family time or take small family outings, such as trips to the zoo, picnics in the park, or shopping trips to the store. Yes, even your shopping trips will change. Although you may increase in shared interests, continue to hold on to some essential individual interests too. Try to create a healthy balance between both.

Freedoms Both you and your spouse will have less time to do your own thing.  You may even reminisce about the days before you had kids, days when you could visit your friends without packing up a minivan.  Freedom changes do not have to mean life sentences for either of you.  New beginnings will fall in place.  This can be a difficult transition for some men (and some women too).  Pray that you and your spouse will be able to release individual freedoms in order to gain new family devotion together.  

                         

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