|
|
 |
Your Intercultural Marriage
By Marla Alupoaicei
Crucial Factors for Success
Studies show that the most fulfilled intercultural couples are those who dedicate themselves to loving and serving each other, living a life committed to God, setting and achieving goals, and reaching out to others. The intercultural couples that I've interviewed also have listed a variety of other elements that they consider vital to marital success, including:
- a true, personal relationship with Jesus Christ
- a strong commitment to the marriage
- open communication
- patience
- kindness
- honesty
- faithfulness
- a willingness to sacrifice one's personal preferences for the sake of the other
- sensitivity to each other's needs
- a positive attitude toward each other's cultures and families
- flexibility
- adaptability
- the sharing of common dreams, goals, and interests
- a spirit of adventure
- a sense of humor
- a willingness to learn each other's languages and cultural ways
- verbally building each other up rather than tearing each other down
- the dedication to stay in the marriage and work out problems when times get tough
Make it a point to sit down with a pen and paper and think honestly about your fiancé or spouse with regard to the above categories. Take notes. How does your loved one fit (or not fit) into each category? Be honest; it won't help either of you if you gloss over problems at this point in your relationship. No person is perfect; all of us have strengths and weaknesses, and it's important for you to be aware of the strengths and weaknesses of both yourself and your significant other.
Be Ready to Make Sacrifices
Recently, I sat down and talked with a friend about some of the changes that have occurred in my life and in my marriage over the past year. My husband and I have put in offers on two homes, but we felt a lack of peace about both and ended up not purchasing either one. We were forced to go back to the drawing board and begin looking all over again, which was not an easy decision to make.
In addition, we recently found out that we are expecting our first child. We are absolutely thrilled about this new development in our lives, but it is requiring us to make some important financial decisions and cutbacks in our spending. In addition, it has affected my work and writing schedule and has given me a reason to stop, reflect, and pray about my values, my priorities, my marriage, my writing career, and my family.
As I talked with my friend, I told her that the process of pressing on in intercultural marriage often feels like taking "three steps forward, two steps back." Sometimes processes and decisions that seem so simple for other couples to make, like buying a home, become a long, emotional, and drawn-out ordeal for intercultural couples, and no one can pinpoint the precise reasons why. Divergent values, worldviews, priorities, different ways of making decisions, varying attitudes toward money, and more can make it difficult for intercultural couples to agree on an outcome that is mutually satisfying. Intercultural marriages can feel like much more work, and can require much more personal sacrifice, than non-intercultural partnerships.
But this line of thinking can be unproductive...
Continued... Read Part Two.
From
Your Intercultural Marriage: A Guide to a Healthy, Happy Relationship by Marla Alupoaicei.
Copyright © 2009 by Marla Alupoaicei. Published by Moody Press, Used with Permission.
|
Author
| • |
Read more articles by Marla Alupoaicei |
| • |
Also see Growthtrac's Contributing
Authors |
| • |
We want to know what you think
about Marla Alupoaicei's article, "Your Intercultural Marriage." Please email
your feedback to us. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
