What Every Facebooking Couple Should DO to Protect Their Marriage!
Create boundaries to protect yourself, your spouse and your marriage. Spend some time talking about what’s in bounds and out of bounds and as a couple, agree on what boundaries you’ll set as a couple. A little bit of agreement on what is and is not acceptable can save a lot of pain and disagreement later.
Set your relationship status to Married and keep it that way. Facebook’s version of the wedding band, your Relationship Status makes all the difference in how people interact with you. If you do happen to go through some marital troubles, don’t change to “it’s complicated” because you’ll only make things even more complicated…in a bad way.
Update each other on your FB Friends and Friend Requests. Friends range from past childhood pals and classmates to current connections from work, church and elsewhere. Many of your FB Friends have a story attached to them. Don’t assume your spouse knows how you know them; spend time sharing their story with your mate.
Share your username and password with one another. Transparency is crucial to ensure trust in a committed relationship. Exchanging login information provides accountability and emotional security for both of you
Make your spouse the topic of your Status Updates at least once a week. Using Facebook to affirm and build up your spouse creates a deeper bond between the two of you, and a higher fence around the two of you. (Just be careful not to overdo and become an annoying couple.)
Be prepared to talk offline about online issues. What happens on Facebook doesn’t stay on Facebook. Facebook can and will trigger issues and conversations between you and your spouse: a poorly worded joke, an awkward comment by a FB Friend, or an unexpected chat session. Deal with hurt feelings or concerns in the privacy of your own home. If handling conflict is difficult for you and your spouse, attend a Marriage Education class to acquire a shared set of communication/conflict resolution skills.
Copyright K. Jason and Kelli Krafsky, used with permission.
K. Jason and Kelli Krafsky have been married since 1994 and have co-authored
Facebook and Your Marriage (their first book together due out in February 2010). Jason also authored
Before “I Do” – Preparing for the Full Marriage Experience, an interactive premarital book for engaged and seriously dating couples. Jason and Kelli live in the foothills of Washington’s Cascade Mountains with their four children. Contact them at kjasonk@fullmarriageexperience.com, on Twitter or through Facebook.
Find out more about the Jason and Kelli and their marriage efforts at their website (FullMarriageExperience.com) and blog (MarriageJunkie.com).
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