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Avoiding Emotional Adultery
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By Dennis Rainey
Some women may think I'm insecure because I don't hold eye contact very
long, but I don't trust my sinful nature. I've seen what has happened
to others, and I know it could happen to me.
Third,
extinguish chemical reactions
that have already begun. If a friendship with the opposite
sex meets needs that only your mate should be meeting, end it quickly.
To stop a chemical reaction, one of the elements must be removed. It
may be a painful loss at first, but it isn't nearly as painful as
temptation that has given birth to sin.
Years ago,
Ruth Senter wrote an incredibly candid article about her friendship
with a Christian man she met in a graduate school class. Her struggle
and godly response to this temptation were graphically etched in a
letter that ended the relationship: "Friendship is always going
somewhere unless it's dead," she wrote. "You and I both know where ours
is going. When a relationship threatens the stability of commitments
we've made to the people we value the most, it can no longer
be."
Fourth,
beware of isolation in your marriage. One
strategy of the enemy is to isolate you from your spouse, especially by
tempting you to keep secrets from your mate. Barbara and I both realize
the danger of isolation to our marriage. We work hard at bringing
things out into the open and discussing
them.
Finally,
never stop courting your mate. One of the most
liberating thoughts I've ever had in my marriage relationship is that I
will never stop competing for Barbara's love. As a result of that
commitment, I stay much more creative in how I communicate with her
emotionally and sexually.
I am well aware that if I
start taking her for granted, someone else could walk into her life and
catch her at a weak point. My constant goal is to strengthen her and
let her know that she is still the woman I decided to carry off to the
castle in 1972.
Many people who commit adultery
express surprise that it happened; they talk as if they were carried
along by an irresistible force of nature. But remember that nobody
falls off a cliff if they're standing 40 feet away. Instead, they inch
closer and closer to the abyss until they find themselves in
danger.
You need to make your marriage relationship
such a priority that you don't come anywhere near the
edge.
Taken
from familylife.com by Dennis
Rainey. Copyright © 2006 FamilyLife. All rights reserved. Used by
permission.
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