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A Conversation With Sheila Walsh
By Jim & Sheri Mueller
An interview with author, vocalist and talk-show host, Sheila Walsh.
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Why did you need to share this story?
It was such a deeply personal experience that my husband and my son and I walked through as a family. I was a little reluctant because it still seemed fresh. The story occurred over the last three years and it's still something that causes my husband and I a lot of pain at times. Even when I got the first copy of the book in, it was kind of, wow — reading the last couple chapters brought tears to my eyes again.
And yet when I thought of God's grace to Barry and I, and the way that He restored our family, we were reminded of what really matters. I relate to the married couples that are struggling with the very things that we struggled with.
And you were reminded of grace.
Yes. I think one of the hardest tenants of grace is that there's absolutely nothing we bring to the table. I've struggled with that most of my life. It's a very hard thing to wrap our hearts around, that God's grace has nothing — absolutely nothing — to do with our behavior. We want to believe that we have done something to earn God's grace but there is absolutely nothing that we can do. It's an absolute gift.
Tell me more about that struggle.
Barry made some poor financial choices that significantly overcommitted us. I had no idea until I discovered empty savings and retirement accounts. I was horrified.
I didn't know quite how to get over this. It seemed like I was going to have to work for the next 5-10 years to try and fix what he had done wrong. I felt so betrayed by that. Barry knows that I grew up as the poorest kid in my class. I was the only one that got preschool meals and a free school uniform. So it's always been very important to me to stay within a budget.
Six months of working through this and trying to decide how I was going to survive, I said to my son one night,
You know, Christian, if there's one thing that Dad or I could do to make your life better, what would that be? I honestly expected that his criticism would be of his father, but it wasn't; it was of me. He said,
You know, Mum, you need to forgive Dad. And he said, You know Dad made some bad choices but he's sorry and you have to forgive him.
So there was a lesson of forgiveness.
It was a real turning point for me. I realized that as long as I held on to that unforgiveness, there was a real wall between Barry and I, and it was holding back his ability to move on as well. I went for a long walk that night in the neighborhood and at the end of the walk; I fell to my knees. In the middle of the street I let go. That's where the title of the book came: let go of trying to protect myself, let go of trying to fix things, and allow God to be my deliverer.
I've asked him to do something that I've done myself: Look in the mirror at least twice a day and say,
God forgives you and so do I. This is behind us. It's under God's grace. It's at the cross. Let's walk away and build a new today and a new tomorrow.
Copyright © 2009 by Growthtrac
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