Another Valentine Day Alone?

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  1. Look for someone else who is spending it alone. This could be a widow in your church, a friend from work, or a family member. Send a bouquet of flowers or a Valentine’s card, take him or her out to lunch, or get creative and serenade that person with a song. Thinking about someone else helps you realize that you’re not alone, and it gives you opportunity to reach out to them and do the unexpected. It may just be your best Valentine’s Day yet.
  2. Ask God to reveal the many love notes He sends to you every day that often go unnoticed. Simple things like sunshine warming your face, a fresh pot of coffee, hugs from friends, and silly things that make you laugh, are all God’s grace and love sent to us. Guaranteed: if you look for ways you are loved instead of the ways you’re not, you’ll find many.
  3. Love God lavishly. Since you have received so much love from God, bring Him a sacrifice of praise! Sometimes sacrifice hurts. It means taking our loneliness and choosing to carry our cross with joy, knowing that Christ understands. Like the woman who poured expensive perfume on Jesus’ feet (John 12:2-7), look for ways to express your love extravagantly for Christ this Valentine’s Day.
  4. Get gut-level honest with yourself and with God. Sometimes God uses our loneliness to show us our need for a spouse. If you are longing for that, talk honestly with God and maybe even share your desire with a trusted mentor. There may be things God will highlight in your life that need refining before receiving the gift of a husband or wife. James 1:16-18 says that every good and perfect gift comes from the Father above. If you express your desire for marriage to Him, you are entrusting your hope with the greatest gift giver! He will either meet your desire for a spouse in His time or will show you how singleness is the greater gift for you.
  5. Embrace Valentine’s Day and all those gushy romantic things it has to offer! Hey! If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. Watch a romantic comedy, eat chocolate, buy yourself flowers, and listen to love songs. Seek out all those sappy things that often make you want to scream in frustration. It’s best to do this with a good friend of the same gender. Enjoy a pampered day and remind yourself that you are worthy of love because of what Christ has done for you.
  6. Go on a date. No, I’m not being cruel. There is a way to date even when you are not in a relationship. When I was in college, a guys’ Bible study group would ask out our entire girls’ Bible study group. That way no one was paired up, but it was a great and safe way for everyone to get to know each other. The guys put a lot of creativity into the planning, usually coming up with a theme and building expectation with clues or poetry sent before the date. If you have a group of friends or a singles event you attend, try this one out. It’s a safe way to interact with the opposite sex, and sometimes real romances bud as a result!
  7. Help your married friends enjoy a memorable night. Many married couples have stress over this holiday because of the many demands on their time and money due to children. They may feel dread as the day approaches because it’s another item on the “to do” list. Help them out! Volunteer to watch their kids that night, give them a gift certificate to a nice restaurant, or be a part of a struggling friend’s planning process to surprise his or her spouse. You’ll have a lot more fun knowing you were a part of making someone else’s night.
  8. Send Valentine’s cards. Buy the cute little cards with cartoons on them that you gave out in elementary school. Send them to friends or hand them out to co-workers. Everyone will get a kick out of it, and it’ll make you feel great to do it, too. Everyone likes chocolates, cards, flowers, and attention. Relationships and love are not just about receiving. When you give, you become a better receiver because you know the effort that goes into the gift.
  9. Escape! If you can, take the day off from work and go hike a mountain, get a hotel room in a nearby town that you’ve wanted to visit, or volunteer for a service project in your town or church. Be thankful you are not tied down to anything and can take off when you like. It may not always be the case. The apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 that as singles we’ve got an advantage because we can be more free from concern about worldly matters. All your time can be devoted to service and advancing God’s kingdom. Get to it and enjoy it!
  10. Make plans for the future. Do you know what romantic activities you’d plan for Valentine’s Day if only there was someone special? Well, write it down. It might come in handy in the future. Also, search your heart and God’s word to look for characteristics you want in a mate. I’ve had at least three friends do this, and God gave them everything on their lists — from their spouse sharing their same theological views to looking good with a baseball cap turned backwards. Knowing what kind of partner you are looking for will keep you from compromising and help you recognize when the right person comes along.

    Copyright © 2005 FamilyLife, Used with permission.

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